Dress With Courage

Body Image Warrior Week: Patti of Not Dead Yet Style

2012-02-28T05:52:00.001-08:00

Welcome back to Body Image Warrior Week. A project organized by Sally McGraw of Already Pretty, BIWW brings together 11 amazing, inspiring bloggers who write about body image, why it matters, and what it all means to us.

Today's post comes from PattiG of Not Dead Yet Style. She reflects on how certain body parts become a "problem" for us. This post struck a chord for me, as it shines a light on just how pervasive negative body conditioning is in our culture.

We Don't Have "Problem Areas"

Oh boy, this is a pet peeve. I hear it mostly on the home shopping channels (gulp, if I ever, um, happen to have the TV tuned to one of them while I am, errr, polishing up an article for the New York Times). The cheery host or model points to the latest tunic top (two easy payments!) and delivers the good news: it covers all those problem areas!

I know they mean our midriffs, in this case. Other garments mercifully cover over our problem hips, "derrieres", thighs and upper arms. Sometimes the salespeople make little unhappy faces as they mention the offending body region, or they smile ruefully and pat their own (perfectly nice) hips.

Of course, I don't want to expose all my body secrets to the waking public. What a world it would be. I like to drape garments over my body to make a pleasing line. Because I have a relatively small waist, I like to wear clothes with waists, and/or I add a belt. I don't wear clothing that clutches on to my hips and thighs because it's 1) uncomfortable and 2) unprofessional in my workplace.

My thighs are not a "problem" however! Sometimes my finances are a problem, my cat having allergies can be a problem, and new construction making me late for work is a . . problem. My pale, slightly dimpled thighs are just mine. My upper arms have lost a bit of their struggle vs. gravity but they are not a problem. They are . . . interesting. I choose to show them or not, and for work I choose not.

I rarely hear any garments for men, of any size or shape, touted as covering up their troublesome bits. "This polo shirt will not cling to that problem tummy, guys, so grab two!"

We want to dress to look better, or we wouldn't be reading and posting on fashion blogs. It's natural to want to look good, we're built that way. Do I sound grumpy? I'm not. I am a happy woman who objects to the problem-ification of my body parts. Does that mean I have a . . . problem?

Patti is a 50-something blogger and mental health professional from Central Florida. Her blog celebrates the over-40 woman; visit her at Not Dead Yet Style, and follow her on Twitter @PattiNotDeadYet.

Image via DollMakersJourney.com

February 27 – March 3 is Body Image Warrior Week. Throughout the course of this week, you’ll read posts from an inspiring group of women who fight hard against body image oppression through their own words and work.

Participants in Body Image Warrior Week are:

Already Pretty
The Beheld
Decoding Dress
Dress with Courage
Eat the Damn Cake
Fit and Feminist
Medicinal Marzipan
Not Dead Yet Style
Rosie Molinary
Virginia Sole-Smith
Weightless

Body Image Warrior Week: Autumn of The Beheld

2012-02-27T14:06:00.000-08:00

This post comes from Autumn of The Beheld. I had the pleasure of meeting Autumn in NYC this past fall, and her posts are thought-provoking, incredibly well-written and deeply researched. Read on for Autumn's contribution to Body Image Warrior Week.

I don’t write about body image.

I’ll write about beauty, any day of the week. I’ll write about what goes on from the neck up; I’ll cover the myth of men preferring long hair, or why I wear makeup, or Gen-X beauty trends. And of course every so often bodies worm their way in: One can hardly talk about the annoyances of “dress your figure” pages in magazines without talking about figures, after all.

But I specifically did not want to write about body image. For one, there are already so many excellent voices out there doing good work; I didn’t know what I could add. But the larger reason was that I didn’t feel qualified to write about body image, mostly because my own body image isn’t particularly good. Oh, I know how to walk the walk and talk the talk: I don’t put down my body out loud, ever. I don’t let women around me get away with it either; I’ve mastered phrases like That’s not what I see and Where is this coming from and even, when I’m feeling testy (which body put-downs tend to make me), I’m sorry, I can’t listen to this. I am pretty sure I’ve never, ever said something unkind about another woman’s body, and I’m certain that whenever I’ve thought something unkind, I’ve immediately asked myself why. I don’t know how many papers about body image I wrote in college, how high my mental cartwheels turned when I met one of the editors of Adios Barbie, how many tortured turns of phrase I created while working at women’s and teen magazines in order to avoid the implication that even a single reader should dislike her body.

I used all this reading and knowledge to try to help my own cause, of course. I’m better off for it. My body image is still mediocre at best.

But here I was wanting to write about what happens to women after we try to get past the beauty myth. My solution was to minimize how much body image writing I did. I never want any readers to walk away from my blog feeling worse about themselves, and I know that bad body image can be contagious, so I just don’t talk about it much. But neck up? Sure, I’ll talk about that. That’s beauty. That’s social construction, psychology, genetics. It’s age, race, personal history, communication, expression, social class, philosophy, aesthetics. I’m not exactly in love with myself from the neck up, but neither am I, like, messed up about it. So I’ll write about beauty, and I’ll leave the body image stuff to the pros. Deal?

I was trying to explain this to my boyfriend the other day. Someone—again—had categorized me as a body image blogger, and I was sharing my confusion. “I write about beauty,” I said. “I don’t write about body image.”

“You write about body image all the time,” he said.

“No, I don’t,” I replied. “I write from the neck up.” I put my hand to my throat as emphasis, and saw a mental image of myself: Me and my writings above the neck; body image and its myriad, talented proponents below it. Except, in my mental image, my head and body were completely separate. My head was floating above my body, disconnected.

In a flash, I remembered a study I’d read last year: Women with eating disorders are more likely to draw self-portraits of themselves as disconnected. Their feet were missing or disconnected; their necks were separate from both head and body. In some cases, the self-portraits had no neck at all. The theory was that women with eating disorders—who are often thought to be overly preoccupied with their body image—in fact felt utterly out of touch with their bodies, to the point where when asked to create a literal image of their form, they didn’t dare connect their body and mind.

I’ve argued before about how eating disorders aren’t as linked to body image as many would have us believe, and it’s something I’ll continue to argue. My own experience backs this up: I went into a treatment program for an eating disorder in 2009 because I no longer knew how to eat normally, not because my body image was poor. I now know how to eat normally. I still don’t know how to truly be at peace with my body.

But by insisting that I am damn well not a body image blogger, I was drawing myself without a neck, over and over and over.

I can’t claim that recognizing my schism will make me veer more in the direction of body image. I like focusing on the neck up; it’s an area not yet as explored from a feminist perspective as our bodies. In the much-needed counterattack on women’s bodies, the potency of our faces—individually, collectively—often goes examined, and I’m eager to correct that. What I do know is that identifying my eagerness to keep the face and body separate has illuminated the impossibility of ever separating them. I knew some fellow bloggers considered me a body image writer, and I’d always thought that was just because The Beheld was difficult to categorize; now I see that they considered me a body image blogger because I am. If any of us—body image bloggers, beauty writers, feminist critics, or thoughtful readers—are to explore the issues behind appearance as thoroughly as we’d like, we owe it to ourselves to not lapse into neck-up thinking. Specifically, I owe it to myself to not treat the topic of the body as something distinct from the issues of visibility, feminine performance, and beauty that are at the core of what I try to deconstruct. Body image is important on a personal level, sure. It’s also essential as an intellectual issue: How can I look at the performance of femininity without looking at the ways in which women try to minimize space by minimizing our bodies? How can I look at modern-day incarnations of the discredited science of physiognomy without examining the personality traits we ascribe to women’s forms?

My own body image path hasn’t made it easy to consider the messy ways that body image is relevant to the more generalized topic of women and being seen. I’d rather keep my body image private, as flawed as it is, presenting it in public only when it’s tidy and shiny and perfectly wrapped (and is it any surprise that perfectionism is another key component of eating disorders?). But if I don’t start to draw a neck—today—my picture will forever be incomplete.

Autumn Whitefield-Madrano’s essays have appeared in Glamour, Marie Claire, Salon, and The New Inquiry, among others. She examines concepts of personal beauty at The Beheld.

Image via Brian Crews.

Participants in Body Image Warrior Week are:

Already Pretty
The Beheld
Decoding Dress
Dress with Courage
Eat the Damn Cake
Fit and Feminist
Medicinal Marzipan
Not Dead Yet Style
Rosie Molinary
Virginia Sole-Smith
Weightless

Body Image Warrior Week

2012-02-27T06:17:00.002-08:00

This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. According to NEDA, “The aim of NEDAwareness Week is to ultimately prevent eating disorders and body image issues while reducing the stigma surrounding eating disorders and improving access to treatment.” This week is extremely important to me, as someone who has struggled with anorexia and bulimia, and writes regularly about body image. You can click on the logo below to get more information about events, participants, and goals of this important ongoing event.

Both as a means of supporting NEDA’s work during awareness week, and as a way of introducing you to a group of amazing women who fight hard against body image oppression through their own words and work, Sally McGraw, author of the incredibly insightful blog Already Pretty, decided to coordinate Body Image Warrior Week. Throughout the course of this week, you’ll read posts from bloggers who have chosen to share their stories and wisdom, both here and on other participating blogs.

Here are some facts about eating disorders in the United States:

PREVALENCE

It is estimated that 8 million Americans have an eating disorder – seven million women and one million men
One in 200 American women suffers from anorexia
Two to three in 100 American women suffers from bulimia
Nearly half of all Americans personally know someone with an eating disorder (Note: One in five Americans suffers from mental illnesses.)
An estimated 10 – 15% of people with anorexia or bulimia are males

MORTALITY RATES

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness
A study by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders reported that 5 – 10% of anorexics die within 10 years after contracting the disease; 18-20% of anorexics will be dead after 20 years and only 30 – 40% ever fully recover
The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is 12 times higher than the death rate of ALL causes of death for females 15 – 24 years old.
20% of people suffering from anorexia will prematurely die from complications related to their eating disorder, including suicide and heart problems

ACCESS TO TREATMENT

Only 1 in 10 people with eating disorders receive treatment
About 80% of the girls/women who have accessed care for their eating disorders do not get the intensity of treatment they need to stay in recovery – they are often sent home weeks earlier than the recommended stay
Treatment of an eating disorder in the US ranges from $500 per day to $2,000 per day. The average cost for a month of inpatient treatment is $30,000. It is estimated that individuals with eating disorders need anywhere from 3 – 6 months of inpatient care. Health insurance companies for several reasons do not typically cover the cost of treating eating disorders
The cost of outpatient treatment, including therapy and medical monitoring, can extend to $100,000 or more

Participants in Body Image Warrior Week are:

Already Pretty
The Beheld
Decoding Dress
Dress with Courage
Eat the Damn Cake
Fit and Feminist
Medicinal Marzipan
Not Dead Yet Style
Rosie Molinary
Virginia Sole-Smith
Weightless

I will be publishing posts from these smart, insightful women throughout this week. Be sure to click through to their blogs to read even more posts regarding body image, struggles, and insights.

Naturally, this is just a small group of warriors and all are welcome to contribute to this project. If YOU’D like to participate in Body Image Warrior Week, just grab this code and paste it at the top of your post.

<a href=”http://www.alreadypretty.com/2012/02/body-image-warrior-week.html”><img title=”bodyimagewarrior_banner” src=”http://www.alreadypretty.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/bodyimagewarrior_banner1.png” alt=”" width=”502″ height=”102″ /></a>

I'm incredibly proud to be included in this project. It's so important to take a moment and reflect upon the importance of cultivating a positive body image. I hope you join me as I share posts from these bloggers, whom I so admire.

On Sundays I Smile 2.26.12

2012-02-26T08:05:00.002-08:00

On Sundays I Smile.

And I share those moment with you.

Enjoy.

Spring came to north Dallas this week, and you'd better believe I am thrilled. Although I love my cozy winter clothes, I'm happy to shake them off for sundresses and sandals.

Yesterday my husband, kids and I piled into our car for a road trip out to College Station to catch a baseball game between Texas A&M and Holy Cross, my husband's alma mater. Though the game was exciting - Holy Cross won! - watching the fans was even more entertaining. I've never seen such enthusiastic synchronized cheering in my life.

While in College Station, we also stopped by a legendary bar called Dixie Chicken. It smelled like feet.

This week I thrifted three pairs of Ferragamo's. They are, by far, the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn. I'm especially partial to the brown suede pumps with the bronze cap toes - can't wait to wear them!

I approved the final proof of my book this week, and the first shipment of books is due to arrive at my house later this week. To celebrate, I went out for margaritas and Tex-Mex. Not pictured: the margarita...because I drank it as soon as it hit the table. It was that good.

Now it's your turn.

What were the best parts of your week? Leave a comment and share your smiles.

All photos taken with Instagram: dresscourage

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Suede. 2.24.12

2012-02-24T06:53:00.001-08:00

Vintage thrifted silk blouse; vintage thrifted suede skirt; thrifted Marc Fisher loafers; vintage thrifted Coach bag; Forever 21 and vintage bracelets

I don't wear this skirt that often, but it's one of my favorites. I love the soft suede, and the way it swishes around my calves. I dug this skirt our of the racks of a truly disgusting thrift store. If my memory serves correct, two drunk old men were behind me on line as I waited, skirt in hand, to pay, and one of them peed himself. Good times.

Thrifting 101: An interview with Pamela of Market Publique, the online vintage marketplace

2012-02-23T06:46:00.000-08:00

Among my many duties as community outreach manager and social media kingpin (ha, ha) for the Texas Style Council Conference is creating content for the TxSC blog. So along with writing posts for Dress With Courage, I've been posting for that blog as well. It's no wonder I've been so busy!

I had the privilege of interviewing Pamela, founder of Market Publique, for the TxSC blog, and I've decided to include the interview here as part of my Thrifting 101 series. I was fortunate to meet Pamela in New York City this past fall, and trust me when I tell you that few people are as knowledgeable about thrifting and vintage as she is. As founder of Market Publique, the online marketplace for vintage clothing and accessories, Pamela is smart, stylish, and incredibly down to earth.

Read through for my interview with Pamela, and get to know her and Market Publique!

Elissa: Tell us a little bit about yourself. Where are you from? How long have you been in NYC? What’s your background?

Pamela: I was born and raised in Guatemala City and moved to New York to go to Parsons School of Design. I loved it so much I stayed and I have lived here for almost 8 years. My background is in design, fine art and business. Most of my experience is with User Experience and Interaction Design and Product Development -- which means I analyze and anticipate how people will use a website and design features to solve their problems or make their interactions easier. Before, I used to design and develop marketing & advertising campaigns for clients like Estée Lauder, InStyle Magazine, The New Museum and others.

E: How did you first get introduced to thrifting?

P: When I was younger, my family and I traveled to Florida for the holidays almost every year. My grandmother and dad love thrift stores and garage sales and I would often tag along. While they were busy with the housewares, I would browse through the jewelry and clothes and realized I could get similar styles to what I could get at the mall but at much lower prices -- and reduce the risk of showing up to school in the same dress as someone else! When you are a teenager on an allowance that’s huge!

E: When did you become passionate about buying and wearing vintage clothing and accessories?

P: Once my grandma realized that I loved older things, she started giving me things from her closet -- a necklace, a belt, a handbag here and there. I loved them and and they became my favorite and most-worn things. My mom also gave me all her Gucci bags from the 70s and 80s. Later on I started collecting my own vintage and found that a lot of times it fit better than new clothes. There’s nothing like a 50s dress for me - - the fit is just right and the fabrics are way better than what you can get for similar prices. I also collect vintage jewelry, as it never goes out of style and is unique and statement-making.

E: What is the best thing you’ve ever thrifted? What’s the most cherished piece in your closet today?

P: The most treasured things in my closet by far are always what has been passed down to me. My great-grandmother’s Guatemalan chachal, my mom’s 70s Gucci purses and belts, my grandma’s jade necklace and turquoise and pearl pins...

The best things I’ve ever thrifted are surprisingly not clothing! I found a replica Arco lamp and a Wassily chair at Housing Works Thrift shop. I got an amazing deal on both pieces, especially because the lamp needed to be rewired - which is not that much! If you buy the original ones new at Design Within Reach they would have cost me over $5,000!

E: What inspired you to start Market Publique?

P: I had been selling vintage on the site on eBay and then, after all the changes to their policies, feedback system and fees, I switched for a while to Etsy, but found that neither of them had the right tools to sell vintage online. It takes a really long time to list an item for sale on eBay and at the end of it it doesn’t look all that and they hit you with a ton of fees. On Etsy I felt that you couldn’t really brand your shop and make it stand out and portray your style.

I looked for other alternatives but realized there was nothing out there for vintage specifically. Since I have a background in building web-based products, I decided to do something about it and build it! We are the only community exclusively for vintage, so we have become a destination for buyers looking for fashionable vintage. Our tools, taxonomy and listing process is designed specifically for vintage, making it easier & quicker to list than on Ebay or Etsy, and easier to shop as well.

We curate the sellers, which are either invited or go through an application process, to ensure that everyone is in good company and the quality of vintage and photography on the site stays high. This is very important to both sellers and buyers because it elevates vintage as a whole. When you have people selling items photographed on the carpet or on a scary mannequin with an unbrushed wig, it perpetuates the stigma some people have of vintage being 'old clothes' or not fashionable. Our site is for great quality, stylish vintage that can integrate seamlessly into your everyday wardrobe.

We also advertise and are present in many other fashion communities like Chictopia, Lookbook.nu, Fashism and more, and work with bloggers to inspire people to wear vintage in modern ways and show them how to mix it in with their new items.

E: How does Market Publique work?

P: We curate sellers & boutiques from around the world, who are either invited or go through an application process (if you are a seller or boutique you can find more information here and apply here. Each seller uploads their item listings complete with photos, descriptions, measurements and price, including how much the shipping on that item is.

As a buyer, you can register or log in to purchase an item outright or place a bid, depending on the listing. You pay the seller for the item directly via PayPal, and the seller ships the item to you. You can then rate your experience by leaving feedback. We charge the seller a small listing fee ($0.25), plus a small percentage commission (5%) once the item sells.

E: What are the advantages of buying vintage on Market Publique, as opposed to eBay?

P: Because our site is exclusively for vintage, there’s no guesswork into whether or not an item is really vintage and a lot less searching and sifting through an overwhelming amount of mis-categorized listings or vintage knockoffs. There’s also a lot more trust in our community, as the sellers are vetted and curated by us. They provide high-quality vintage items with great photos, so you can see what the item looks like really well. They also describe their items honestly and accurately and provide excellent customer service. It’s more like shopping in a curated vintage boutique than digging through piles at the Goodwill outlet, and the prices are still reasonable because the sellers don’t have to deal with the extra costs of renting a store front.

E: Any current projects you’re working on?

P: There’s many projects we’re working on! We just launched a collection of archival Cadoro pieces in collaboration with The Greedy Seagull. These pieces are highly collectible and very rare, so we’re proud to be hosting them on our site. We’re also revamping the whole site, so stay tuned for our new face-lift - and relaunching curated themed collections with The Vintage Coalition, an invite-only group of the best vintage sellers on the web.

E: Do you have any helpful hints for those new to thrifting and buying vintage?

P: Start with accessories if you’re really new. It’s a lot easier to add a necklace or a clutch to an outfit and get warmed up to all the compliments! Also, make friends with your tailor. You can turn a good piece into a show-stopper with a few minor, inexpensive alterations. Hemming, for example, is an easy way to make a vintage dress look more modern. Just make sure you don’t hack off a huge chunk off a 40s designer dress!

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Pop of neon for Poshmark! 2.22.12

2012-02-22T06:23:00.000-08:00

Vintage thrifted chambray shirt; Current/Elliott jeans; Forever 21 belt; vintage thrifted Coach bag; vintage thrifted Bruno Magli heels; Forever 21 and vintage bracelets

This morning I'm off to meet with the PR rep, co-founder, and senior marketing manager of Poshmark in preparation for tonight's Posh Party here in Dallas. I'll be co-hosting the event, representing the Texas Style Council Conference, and am super excited to meet and mingle with other Dallas blogger.

It's going to be warm and sunny today, and I wanted to be both comfortable and stylish. Reaching for a new pair of heels and broken-in jeans was kind of a no-brainer. The pop of neon in my belt was a fun way to add come color!

You might be wondering... What is Poshmark? Well, have you ever wished you could post an item for sale right from your iPhone, without the hassle and risk of eBay? With the Poshmark app, you snap a few photos with your iPhone, and enter a title, description, price, and product category. Once finished, voila! Your item is ready to list for sale.

I'm going to list several things for sale tonight, so you might want to follow me in the app -- my user name is elissastern -- if you love designer handbags (*hint* Marc Jacobs *hint*.) Here are a few more tidbits about this revolutionary way to shop your closet:

The Poshmark app offers several Instagram-like photo filters for enhancing your listing's appearance.
Listing is free on Poshmark, and fees are straight-forward. When you make a sale, Poshmark deducts a 20% commission fee from your earnings. In return, they handle the financial transaction, provide you with a pre-paid pre-addressed shipping label, and serve as your customer support team for the sale.
Download Poshmark for the iPhone for free from the App Store: bitly.com/poshmark. According to the FAQs, an android app is on the horizon!
The Poshmark app is currently only available in the US.
Love someone’s style? Follow them in the app to have easy access to their items for sale. It’s easy to like, post comments and share each others items in the app!

Tonight's party theme is designer shoes and handbags, and I’m planning to list a few items during the party. However, you don’t have to wait for the party to post items or start shopping! Start uploading your own items and join me virtually during tonight's event!

Tweet me at @dresscourage or post a comment below if you are going to join us for the party tonight! If you will be at the Dallas event, please come say hi. :)

Blogging and the struggle between the creative and the commercial.

2012-02-21T05:34:00.000-08:00

The indie rock band Bon Iver won two Grammy awards this year. However, the awards show made lead singer Justin Vernon squirm.

“It’s really hard to accept this award,” he began in his slightly awkward acceptance speech. “There’s so much talent out here… and there’s a lot of talent that’s not here tonight. It’s also hard to accept because you know, when I started to make songs I did it for the inherent reward of making songs, so I’m a little bit uncomfortable up here.”

In an interview with the New York Times back in December, Vernon expressed his feelings about the Grammys even more forcefully.

“I kinda felt like going up there and being like: ‘Everyone should go home, this is ridiculous. You should not be doing this. We should not be gathering in a big room and looking at each other and pretending that this is important.’ That’s what I would say.”

Of course, if Vernon really felt as he said he did, he would never have shown up at the Grammy Awards to begin with. He would not be the first artist to refuse an award. Sinead O’Conner famously refused a Grammy in 1990, and Marlon Brando turned down an Oscar. Having that been said, Mr. Vernon does put a spotlight on an issue that everyone who is passionately involved in a creative/artistic endeavor must deal with: how we negotiate the commercial with the creative.

What we create has enormous value to us as an expression of who we are and what we most believe. If we are good, or lucky, or in the right place at the right time, what we produce has a commercial value. We would love to leverage the commercial value in order to more fully pursue our creative process while insuring that it remains a true expression of who we are and what we most believe.

Unfortunately, when the creative intersects with the commercial it produces tension. There is a continuum between the creative and the commercial. At one end is the purely creative: art for the sake of art. Writing because one feels compelled to write, whether anyone reads it or not. Painting for the sole purpose of self expression. At the other end there is creativity for purely commercial reasons. This includes professionals such as copy writers, graphic artists, and studio musicians.

And then there are bloggers. There are numerous blogs that are purely self-expression; many others with commercial application; and even more somewhere in between. We all have different motives for blogging, but our intentions generally fall in one of three categories. Our blogs are creative outlets, or commercial tools to achieve advancement and recognition in our desired industry with the reward of financial gain or public achievement. Or they're somewhere in between -- somewhere on the continuum between creative and commercial.

There are tremendous risks involved in being on this continuum. If you move too far towards the commercial you run the risk of losing your voice and becoming a shill. If you make no move towards the commercial you are likely to never benefit financially for your creative output. There are certainly a few exceptions to this rule, but they are rare. Of course, the sweet spot we all want to be in is where our undiluted creative expression finds tremendous commercial appeal. However, this is even more rare. The odds of “being discovered” or connecting with the right person at the right time that will promote you to the perfect audience are beyond astronomical.

It is the prerogative of each creator, artist or blogger to decide when and how far they will make those moves. Some have no problem using their talents and gifts for the greatest commercial appeal possible. That is their right and there is nothing inherently wrong with it. Others, such as Vernon, are tremendously uncomfortable sacrificing any degree of their creative vision or innate talent in the name of financial gain or broader market appeal. That is their right as well.

Each of us have to make the decision of where we are most comfortable on the continuum between creative and commercial. We must make that decision based on what makes the most sense for financially and artistically. How much can my soul take? How much does my wallet need? Most of all we need to make that decision for ourselves and let others do the same.

Oscar Wilde said, “I use my talent for my art; I reserve my genius for my living.” The point being it is okay to use your talent and hard work to make whatever gains you wish, but you should always save a part of your genius for your soul's sake.

{Almost daily outfit of the day} I've got stripes 2.20.12

2012-02-20T07:59:00.000-08:00

Forever 21 denim jacket; vintage thrifted dress; Old Navy belt; Hue tights; vintage thrifted Ferragamo wedges; estate sale clutch; Forever 21 bracelets

Every time I wear a dress, I wonder why I don't wear dresses more often. A dress is kind of the perfect article of clothing. Feel a little lazy? Put on a dress. Have the urge to be a bit more feminine? Put on a dress. Bloated from last night's dinner of southern food, lemon meringue pie, and too many glasses of sweet tea? (not that I would know anything about that...) Dress.

I picked up this 1960's dress for less than $5 from the Goodwill. The red Ferragamo wedges were another steal for $4.

Poshmark invites you to a Dallas Posh Party!

2012-02-19T13:27:00.000-08:00

Poshmark is thrilled to invite all Dallas-Fort Worth fashion bloggers ( and Texas Style Council Conference attendees!) to a LIVE Posh Party this Wednesday, February 22nd!

Poshmark is bringing together top bloggers and local influencers, shoppers and press for a chance to list great items for sale from your own closet to their app. This is a great chance for your fans and followers to buy items directly from you within the Poshmark app from anywhere in the country! Poshmark will be broadcasting the event and live Tweeting -- all of which they'd love to include you in.

Poshmark makes it easy to list and sell items directly from your closet. Just snap a photo of an item you'd like to sell on your cell phone, upload it to the Poshmark app, transform it with one of the Poshmark filters, and voila! You've created a glam covershot for your listing. Add a description and price for your item, and you're all set!

Poshmark connects you to people who’s style you adore so you can shop their closets, anytime you’d like. The community is made up of people who love to discover unique fashion, share their style inspiration, and most importantly, have fun. The theme of the party is Designer Shoes and Handbags, so bring your best from your closet and get ready to sell!

To attend, be sure to RSVP by Tuesday, February 21st to rsvp@poshmark.com. Can't wait to see you there!

On Sundays I Smile - Week in review 2.19.12

2012-02-19T09:05:00.000-08:00

On Sundays I share things that made me smile the previous week.

Antique Elegance Vintage Show 2/18

Victorian gold engagement bangles, the precursor to the modern day engagement rings. They were often engraved with flowers, scrolling, and the wearer's initials.

Snakeskin and crocodile bags from Vintage Martini's booth.

Henry Bendel's

Valentine's Day

Dinner at Spoon's Restaurant, historic McKinney Square

Thrift scores of the week

1970's Coach 'Stewardess' satchel, thrifted at Goodwill

Ferragamo blow flats, thrifted at the Salvation Army, Dallas

Now it's your turn: What are some things that made you smile this week? Grab my button and blog about your Sunday smiles; share your weekly smiles in the comments; or smile just because it makes you feel good.

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Gloomy blues 2.17.12

2012-02-17T06:24:00.000-08:00

Vintage thrifted blazer; vintage thrifted blouse; thrifted Seven For All Mankind jeans; thrifted Coach ballet flats; thrifted Coach bag; Old Navy belt

If I am wearing jeans, it's for one of three reasons:

In a tragic twist of circumstance, I have become trapped under something heavy inside my closet, and am thus only able to reach a rogue pair of jeans that has escaped its hanger and become abandoned on the floor.
Each and every pair of Spanx I own is swimming languidly in my washing machine.
It's raining.

Today, we're going with option number three. It's hard to be inspired to dress creatively when skies are overcast and gloomy, and the only thing I plan to do is beach myself on the couch, eat takeout pad thai, and watch Gwyneth Paltrow die a grisly, painful death in Contagion.

Thrifting 101: Thrifting The Trend - The Peplum

2012-02-16T07:21:00.000-08:00

Popping up everywhere from New York to Paris, spring 2012 collections included a large, unmistakably flirty ruffle on silhouettes ranging from skirts and jackets, to dresses and blouses. This feminine note is the peplum. The February 2012 issue of Elle identifies the peplum as one of the four key silhouettes of spring 2012 (the others being the boxy jacket, pleats, and the maxiskirt). Long associated with 1950's ladylike fashion and 1980's excess, peplums are a fun nod to the past and can be extremely flattering to a woman's figure. Even better, they're often noticed while thrifting. So what's all the fuss about peplums? Today, we'll find out.

The peplum, a term dating back to the 19th century, is a short overskirt that is usually attached to a fitted jacket. However, earliest versions were typically not attached to a jacket, but functioned merely as an extra overskirt or flounce dropping from the waist. The modern peplum, as we now know it, became popular as a design in women’s suiting in the 1940s. Here it took on its most recognizable form. Suit jackets were often fitted at the waist, but fabric extended beyond the waist in an overskirt. Women wore peplum-appended coats and dresses as a way to draw attention to a tiny waist and hourglass figure -- without being overtly erotic

McCall's dress pattern, c. 1940's

Sometimes the peplum was deliberately flared, enhancing or suggesting greater curve to the hips. In other styles, the peplum fit closer to the stomach and the hips, emphasizing the tight waist of the garment. A flared peplum with a skirt that also flared was common, as was a peplum with a pencil skirts.

The peplum fashion faded in the 1950s but came back with a vengeance in the late 1980s and early 1990s. This was part a reaction to the boxy menswear-style jackets with exaggerated shoulder pads that were popular during the mid-1980s. Most jackets with peplums in the late 1980s still had shoulder pads, but feminine curves were emphasized by a fitted waist and either a flounced or straight peplum, usually covering the hips and stomach.

The right peplum can accentuate boyish hips, create the illusion of a smaller waist and mask less-than-flat tummies. Peplums are flattering on many women in that they add curves on a slender form with narrow hips, and, at the same time, accommodate generous hips and disguise them while highlighting the waist.

Examples of thrifted peplums

Victor Costa polka-dot dress, c. 1980's

Vintage blazer, c. 1940's

When searching for peplums while thrifting, head first to the dresses, skirts, and blazers section of your favorite store. Eighties dresses with peplums are aplenty, often in loud floral or abstract prints. If a peplum silhouette makes you shy, consider a dark, monochromatic style - a black, brown, or navy blazer with a slim dark pant or pencil skirt. Peplum blouses can also be thrifted. Pairing a peplum top with cigarette pants can offset the top's girlishness and balance it's volume.

Would you wear a peplum? Have you had luck thrifting for silhouettes featuring them?

Coming soon...

2012-02-15T17:19:00.000-08:00

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you've likely heard me mention a little book I've been working on. Well, today the final proof came in, and I'm proud to introduce Thrifting 101: A Beginner's Guide to Thrifting and Vintage to you! I'm going to offer it as both an ebook and a hardback edition. More details regarding price and ordering information will be forthcoming in the next two weeks.

On a related note...this book would not have been possible without the support I've received from you, my followers and readers. THANK YOU for encouraging me as I've shared my love of thrifting and vintage with you. Thank you for dropping by each day, and leaving comments, and sending me emails, and allowing my blog to be a part of your life.

Everybody, Everywear: Pink + Red 2.14.12

2012-02-14T13:53:00.000-08:00

Vintage thrifted blazer and blouse; Gap cargos; vintage thrifted necklace; vintage thrifted Bruno Magli heels; Forever 21 bracelets

Today I'm wearing pink and red for Everybody, Everywear! Whether you're celebrating Valentine's Day, or attempting to ignore it, I hope you're having a great day!

Eating disorders, and the trouble with saying no.

2012-02-14T07:12:00.000-08:00

I wake up at six in the morning. Laundry is piled at the foot of the bed. My husband rustles next to me, a solid, reliable lump.

I get up, take a shower, brush my teeth, do my make-up. I try on three pairs of pants, four shirts, a skirt, a blazer. Nothing is right. I stand on tip-toe on the corner of my bathtub and appraise myself in the medicine cabinet mirror. I don't have a full-length mirror because, well, if I did, I wouldn't leave my bathroom. I look at my butt, my upper arms, my stomach. My husband comes in from ironing his shirt. Do I look like I've gained weight? I ask. He says no. He always says no. You're lying, I tell him. You HAVE to say I haven't gained weight. You're just being nice. No, honey, I'm not, he replies. I don't know what you want me to say. We look at each other.

This is the very boring part of eating disorders, the aftermath. The recovery. When you eat and hate that you eat. When you gain weight, and understand that you have to gain weight in order to live, to function, and you hate it anyway, and hate yourself for gaining it. When you careen through life without the comfortable battalion of your dysfunctional behaviors cushioning you against stress and anxiety and disagreements and bad haircuts and boredom. When you feel without being numbed out by starvation, or purging, or overeating, or exercising to exhaustion.

I am notoriously bad at saying no. I like to busy -- frantically, frenetically busy. Ultimately, this is about feeling valuable and important and wanting to helpful. After all, if you want me to write a guest post, AND submit articles to a local publication, AND attend fashion week in NYC, AND open an Etsy store, AND help with the class end-of-the-year party, AND throw me a book signing event, I must be valuable, right? You must really need me to help. It all becomes very dramatic, the business of being busy. This struggle to say no.

My difficulty saying no is nothing unique. As women, because of our deeply rooted need for connection, saying no might be the hardest thing we can do. Sometimes, out of a desire to be helpful, or charitable, or being liked, or being valuable and important, we say yes even when it puts us in a precarious position. Women's reluctance saying no comes from traits we value -- empathy, compassion. The prospect of being sensitive to other people's needs overrides our own. Saying no is often accompanied by crushing guilt. We fear we're letting people down. We're terrified of setting limits. We're scared of not being needed, of seeming unreliable and selfish.

I did a Google search on simple ways to say no and received fairly predictable advice. "Listen to your own needs," I was told. "Put yourself first." "Stop being a people pleaser." "Quit worrying about everyone else." These things are a lot easier said than done.

When I stand in front of the bathroom mirror, examining my body, I'm searching for features that mark me as flawed, as imperfect. or, even worse, as ordinary. I want to be Great. Those with eating disorders understand the fear of the ordinary. It is our unrelenting quest to impress our families, friends, enemies, peers, and ourselves with our specialness. And so we say yes. Yes!, I can get my Master's and work full-time and volunteer for the Red Cross. Yes! I'll host a cocktail party for 20 with six kinds of homemade appetizers. Yes! I'll write a book with 10,000, no, 25,000 words. Yes! I'll create a blog and post six times a week. And even then, when we've won awards or gotten that promotion or published our magnum opus, it's not enough. We don't say no. Saying no would mark us as as people with limits. Ick.

It's no surprise that with all the responsibilities I've taken on lately, I've found myself slipping into eating disorder behaviors as a result. A slip is an expected part of recovery. Tip-toeing through the emotional minefield of life is tricky without those self-soothing tricks I learned while I was sick. But the less practice I have with saying no, the less likely I am to recover. The more I refuse to be good enough, the longer I will stay engaged in my eating disorder.

And so I'll battle on. I'll focus on being good enough. I'll say no. And it'll get better.

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Stress relief 2.13.12

2012-02-13T06:13:00.000-08:00

Thrifted J Crew blazer; thrifted vintage chambray shirt; thrifted vintage sequin skirt; Spanx tights; Urban Outfitters 6x6 ankle boots; vintage estate sale clutch

Last week was among the most stressful I've had in a long time. My husband was out of town for the week, eating lobster rolls in Boston, sleeping in, enjoying room service, and, I suppose, working. My kids had a million after school activities to attend, including a two-hour class in which they're learning computer programming. They're eight. They're also nerds. There was thrifting, and household chores, and errands to run, and the final proof of my book to approve, and a dreadful elementary school dance on Friday with a fifties sock hop theme. You have not lived until you've seen middle-aged suburban soccer moms prancing around in ill-fitting poodle skirts. Trust me.

So when the weekend came around, all I wanted to do was sit in front of my laptop in sweats and indulge in a little Pinterest-ing. Okay, a lot. I pinned photos of Katherine Hepburn; kitchens with subway tile and exposed brick; twenties flappers in chemises; turquoise jewelry; and women in sequined skirts and chambray. Hence this outfit.

I wore this to eat barbeque with some friends on Saturday night. Wearing sequins while sitting in a restaurant full of grizzled men in Wranglers was a tad inappropriate, but I didn't care. Life is too short not to overdress.

{On Sundays I Smile} Vintage Valentine 2.12.12

2012-02-12T08:25:00.000-08:00

Happy weekend, and an early Valentine's Day!

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Black and white and blue 2.10.12

2012-02-10T05:46:00.000-08:00

Madewell sweater; thrifted J Crew cords; thrifted Gap button-down; Jessica Simpson pumps; estate sale clutch

Just last week, Dallas meteorologists worked themselves into a tizzy regarding our lack of winter. It's "the warmest winter on record!", they crowed. "Pack away your sweaters and boots!" they recommended. So many of us did. And this week, as if on cue, winter finally decided to show up. Fortunately, I had just bought this cozy sweater on super clearance at Madewell and it kept me warm throughout the day.

Thrifting 101: My thrift story. What's yours?

2012-02-09T06:19:00.000-08:00

There once was a girl.

She lived with her mom, dad, and little brother in an apartment in Queens, NY. Money was tight, so they lived very frugally. Sometimes they went on food stamps. But the girl didn't mind. She always had nice things to wear, and friends to play with, and family who loved her.

This girl eventually grew up, and became a teenager...

...who left middle school, went to a performing arts high school in Manhattan, and discovered thrift stores.

Thrifting was her passion. It was also her secret. You see, when she was growing up, thrifting wasn't something you bragged about (or blogged about.) Thrifting was an activity you did strictly out of necessity. Going to a thrift store was shameful and embarrassing - an admission of financial desperation. To visit a thrift store not only meant you were too poor for the mall, but also that you were perfectly fine wearing someone else's used clothes. These were two things teenagers generally frowned about in the nineties. So this girl kept her after-school activity hidden.

She thrifted throughout high school and college, learning how to identify vintage, when the best days to thrift were, and where the best stores could be found. She thrifted for vintage Levis, and concert tees, and leather belts, and wool plaid skirts, and seventies men's suede jackets. Thrifting was both a way for her to develop her personal sense of style and stretch her dollar. And it was fun.

Eventually, though, this girl grew up. She got married and moved to the Texas suburbs and had a few kids. She forgot about thrifting, and started buying her clothes at the mall. But something was missing. She found herself wistful for those afternoons she spent at the Goodwill. She tenderly remembered the thrill she'd had after digging out something wonderful from a thrift store rack. So she returned to the thrift stores, and hasn't looked back since.

Blazer? Blouse? Pants? Shoes? Thrifted.

It's hard to believe that I've been thrifting for twenty-five years. I've battled against allergies, staples impaled into my thumb (why thrift store insist on stapling price tags into clothes, I'll never know), creepy men trying to hit on me, other shoppers attempting to steal things out of my cart. There have been highs - such as the Christan Dior sweater I thrifted for $3 a few weeks ago - and lows. Blessedly, the lows are few and far between. I am addicted to the thrill of the unknown, the possibilities that exist when I enter a thrift store, and the knowledge that I'm saving hundreds of dollars a year on clothes for both myself and my family.

So what's your thrift story? When did you get started thrifting? What first brought you into a thrift store?

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Cherry ice 2.8.12

2012-02-08T06:26:00.000-08:00

Thrifted Calvin Klein blazer; thrifted vintage silk blouse; Gap legging jeans; Jessica Simpson pumps; Vintage Martini clutch

It happened almost every summer afternoon. My friends and I were beached on the sidewalk, attempting to recover from hours spent riding our bikes around the neighborhood, tracing new routes and swerving into sprinklers. The air was sultry with heat, the way August afternoons get in New York. Rivers of sweat ran down our backs. Without warning, a hopeful chirp pealed through the air. Could it be? Was it time? Suddenly it emerged, with a trail of excited children behind it, a white knight sent to rescue us. It was the ice cream truck.

A beacon of joy to every kid on our street, the ice cream truck saved us from heat stroke and fortified us for continued adventures. My friends got strawberry crunch bars, and soft serve with sprinkles, and twin pops, and Nutty Bars. I got cherry Italian ice, the kind in the little cardboard carton with a wooden spork. It tastes tart and sweet and bright, like a cherry exploding on your tongue. Kind of exactly like my silk blouse looks.

On being cool

2012-02-07T06:40:00.000-08:00

I have never felt cool. Not as a teenager, and certainly not as an adult.

I've made many attempts towards achieving coolness. In junior high I was convinced, absolutely convinced, that if I had a pair of Guess Jeans I'd be cool. In my grade, flashing that iconic triangle on the back pocket of a pair of slim-cuts marked you as a higher echelon of teenager. It practically guaranteed your admittance to the popular kids' table at lunch and earned you a slight nod of respect from the girls who sat there. Though I begged and pleaded and swore that IF I DO NOT GET A PAIR OF GUESS JEANS I WAS GOING TO DIE, LIKE SERIOUSLY DIE, I knew deep down that owning those jeans wouldn't necessarily make me cool.

When I was a kid, I had a babysitter who was cool. She had blonde feathered hair and a Trans Am and a gold necklace with her name imprinted in curling script. I think her name was Jennifer. Jennifer had a college boyfriend who would sneak in after she thought my brother and I were asleep. She didn't care an iota about being caught, and when she was, expressed no surprise or regret. I wanted, with all of my being, to be Jennifer. Jennifer possessed a nonchalance about being cool that only cool people seem to have. It took me a long time to understand that this nonchalance was what made her cool in the first place. She didn't try at it like I did, with my desperation for Guess Jeans. She just was.

It seems that everywhere you look, people are trying to be cool. They're dying their hair psychedelic colors or shaving off one side. They're buying neon leather messenger bags, and vintage Vespa scooters, and expensive sunglasses, and tee shirts with mustaches on them, and basically anything from Urban Outfitters. Myself included. Some people, the lucky rich ones or those with good credit, spend hundreds of dollars on clothes they see in fashion magazines all with the intent of being cool.

In Silicon Valley, some tech entrepreneurs have become enamored with with socks. The New York Times reported last week that flamboyantly colored, wildly patterned socks have become de rigor among those looking to be a part of the in-crowd. “I have been in meetings where people look down and notice my socks, and there is this universal sign, almost like a gang sign, where they nod and pull up their pant leg a little to show off their socks,” said Hunter Walk, 38, a director of product management at YouTube, whose favorite pair is yellow, aqua and orange striped.

In the classic movie Grease, Sandy, poor poor good girl Sandy, instantly became cool when she abandoned her cashmere sweater sets and mid-calf circle skirts for a skin tight pair of black vinyl pants and off-the-shoulder black tube shirt. That's when she got the guy, and cemented her status as pink lady. That's when she became cool. I remember sitting, rapt, watching Sandy strut confidently throughout the high school carnival. She was a goddess.

I wonder if a change of clothes can really make you cool. If I buy a pair of skinny cords at Madewell and ankle boots, will I get one step closer to channeling Alexa Chung's charming quirkiness and model-quality good looks? (Inexplicably, Alexa Chung seems to be the personification of cool girl these days - there's an entire Tumblr dedicated just towards being her.) If I drape myself in one-shoulders jersey maxi dresses and floor-length furs, will I tap into Bianca Jagger's chic demeanor? Men don't seem to have this quandry. Men want to be like Johnny Depp, who looks like he crawled out of the gutter most of the time, scraggly bits shedding from his oversize leather jacket, scraggly facial hair sprouting from his chin. Or they want to be Clint Eastwood, or Marlon Brando - men who look as though they'd rather get into a knife fight than step into Barney's.

The Times article notes that techies purchase wildly patterned, garish socks both as a way to impress coworkers and as a rebellion against their typical boring uniform of khakis and sweats. Socks are a nod to fashion without appearing as though you are playing by mainstream rules that Silicon Valley shuns - like, heaven forbid, dressing up. Going deeper, Diana Crane-Herve, emeritus professor of sociology at the University of Pennsylvania, said workplace fashion fads like outlandish socks are often an unconscious way to deal with worries about job security or fitting in.

Throughout time, women have based their sartorial choices on the desire to be cool. But being cool seems to be mostly about impressing the peers in our gender group than anything else. They're the ones we look towards to define what it means to be cool. If we pattern mix, or wear Madewell cords, or thrift, or get a tattoo, our cool role models might think we're cool as well.

So what do you think about being cool? Have you ever felt cool? Be honest - have you ever bought an article of clothing with the intent of being cool? Is coolness about social acceptance, or nonchalance? Do you think clothing choice is related more to being cool, or to expressing individuality? Do you have cool role models?

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Kind of blue 2.6.12

2012-02-06T06:10:00.000-08:00

Thrifted J Crew chambray shirt; thrifted vintage suede skirt; Hue tights; thrifted Cole Haan shoes; thrifted vintage Coach bag

In Greek mythology, the god Zeus would cause it to rain when he was sad and storm when he was angry. Because of this, the blue color of the oceans became related to to sadness. But blue is more than symbolic of melancholy. It's the sunny sky of a hot summer day. It's a pair of suede shoes immortalized in a rockabilly standard. It's a bucket of berries ready to bake in muffins, and the pale color of a newborn baby's eyes. Blue is commonly used in the Western hemisphere to symbolize the male gender in contrast to pink used for females, although in the early 1900s, blue was the color for girls (as it had traditionally been the color of the Virgin Mary in Western Art) and pink was for boys (as it was akin to the color red, considered a masculine color.

Blue is also the predominant color in my closet. It's a neutral, a color that seems to go with everything, and the color I reach for the most. This outfit might be the closest I ever get to monochromatic dressing. Zeus would be pleased.

On Sundays I Smile - Week in review 2.5.12

2012-02-05T09:01:00.000-08:00

On Sundays I review the past week and I Smile. I share these moments with you.

We all have our little places of refuge - places we run to when we need an escape, a pick-me-up, or a location to hide away when things get stressful. Mine is a little vintage and consignment store in Carrollton called Vintage Martini. When I'm at Vintage Martini, walking among Chanel, Versace, Escada and Balenciaga, I feel at home. I slip into a fantasy world where women wear little boxy suits and ball gowns and elbow length opera gloves and Manolos. I occasionally bring pieces there to consign, but I mostly go to hang out with the owners and visit the clothes. It just makes me happy.

Of course, all good things must come to an end. These fantastically horrifying stripper shoes smacked me back into reality while I went thrifting. I was a little tempted to try them on, just for fun, but the idea of sliding my feet into herpes scared me off.

Also spotted while thifting: a 1950's beaded chiffon evening gown with matching bolero. This ensemble was so beautiful it almost made me cry. Although it's not in my size, I bought it. Because when you run into a 1950's Neiman Marcus evening set, you kind of have to.

Oh, pho. How I love you. Pho is the world's most perfect lunch. It's savory, and spicy, and filling, and smells like Thai basil and cilantro and some unidentifiable ingredients that I probably don't want to know about.

A few weeks ago, I bought a book called Very Vintage - A Guide to Vintage Patterns and Clothing from Half Priced Books, and I can't put it down. It's filled with photos and historical information behind major trends throughout the past 120 years of fashion history. This sort of book captivates me.

Now it's your turn: What are some things that made you smile this week? Grab my button and blog about your Sunday smiles; share your weekly smiles in the comments; or smile just because it makes you feel good.

While I'm dreaming of Manolos and vintage Balenciaga, catch up on everything from Dress With Courage this week:

I lamented my childhood history of flat feet and spent the day in a new pair of splatter Jeffrey Campbell Litas;
Wondered whether cosmetics featuring cartoon characters are infantalizing, heroic, or a clever marketing tool towards women;
Prematurely waved goodbye to winter in suede and denim;
Continued my Thrifting 101 series with a post describing perennial favorites - things I always thrift for;
Pulled out the shorts and polka dot tights while pondering my old age;
and announced the winner of my Coach Willis giveaway. Congrats to Boyish Chic!

Also this week: Autumn of the fantastic blog The Beheld featured my post on cosmetics and cartoon characters in her Beauty Blogosphere roundup of the week. Big thanks to her!

Thank you for supporting me by following my blog, continuing to leave thoughtful and introspective comments, and dropping by every day. I am so appreciative that you are here.

If you're visiting my blog for the first time, think about following me through Google Friend Connect, and tweeting with me on Twitter (@dresscourage). You can also follow me on Pinterest and Instagram under Dresscourage and on Facebook.

Giveaway time: Winer of the vintage Coach Willis satchel announced!

2012-02-04T08:57:00.000-08:00

The winner for the vintage Coach Willis satchel is:

Boyish Chic!

&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br /&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; This drawing was held by Dress With Courage in a fair and unbiased manner, using RANDOM.ORG's Third-Party Draw Service. For details, please see the &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.random.org/draws/details/?draw=9008"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;drawing's record&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;.&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br /&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;

Congratulations, and thanks to everyone who entered! They'll be many more vintage giveaways in the future!

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Five a.m 2.3.12

2012-02-03T06:33:00.000-08:00

Thrifted vintage blazer; thrifted J Crew button-down; thrifted vintage Levi's (chopped by me); Target tights; vintage thrifted Coach satchel; thrifted Marc Fisher loafers

I have gotten into the bewildering habit of waking up exactly 45 minutes before my alarm goes off. I startle suddenly out of a deep sleep, glance at the alarm clock, curse, and implore myself not to fall back asleep because, well, what's the point. After which I naturally fall back asleep and have a hallucinogenic dream where I'm stuck on the 1 line of the NYC subway and am being chased by a man trying to sell me Anna Wintour's collection of Chanel twin sets. Maybe this is just what happens when you get older. Soon I'll be eating dinner at 4 pm, upping my fiber content, watching old episodes of Matlock and yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

Thrifting 101: What I Thrift For

2012-02-02T06:28:00.000-08:00

Allow me, for a moment, to share what I did last week.

On Monday I went thrifting. On Tuesday I went thrifting. On Wednesday and Thursday and Friday I went thrifting. Thrifting is magic, I think. There's something about the thrill of the hunt, buying things I wouldn't normally be able to afford, and coming home with a bag filled with vintage treasures for less than $20. I love perusing the racks, sifting and digging and excavating. And then, in the middle of polyester blazers and pleated pants and oversize sweaters, it happens. A gem is found.

Though my thrifting goals change with the seasons, there are some designers and items that remain perennial favorites. These are things I look for every single time I hit a thrift store.

Sequins

I am not a glamorous eighties soap star. Nor am I a socialite in need of evening wear for charity events hosted for obscure diseases such as amoebic dysentery. Nope, I'm a normal stay-at-home mom with an addiction to Shipping Wars and shameful habit of feeding my kids frozen chicken nuggets. And yet, somehow, I'm drawn to sequined clothing. I squeal when I come across a beaded top or sparkling blouse in a thrift store. They look so pretty hanging in my closet, and elevate an ordinary pair of jeans into something special and unique.

Victor Costa

We all have our favorite designers. Some might lust for Chanel, while others are perfectly happy with Zara or the Gap. As for me? I prefer a scandalous 1970's and 80's designer who blatantly ripped off couture collections and created 1950's silhouettes in evening gowns and formal wear. I love Victor Costa so much that I devoted an entire post in my Thrifting 101 series to him. Victor Costa's clothes are highly collectable, but I have had great luck finding pieces in the Goodwill, Salvation Army, and antique malls.

The Unique and Unusual

This is a 1980's blue denim acid wash cocoon jacket with intricate beading made on an Indian reservation. It is, quite possibly, the ugliest and the most fascinating thing in my closet. I might never wear it...but I'm glad I thrifted it. This sartorial mistake is a piece of fashion history, representing a decade of gaudy excess. I've never seen anything like it, and I might not again.

Classic Coach

There is absolutely no reason to plunk down $200 or more on a reissued classic Coach bag when there are plenty to be found at thrift stores. While it's more unusual to score one at a Goodwill or Salvation Army than a charity shop, it does happen. I found this beauty a week ago at a Goodwill, and it's as good as new.

(If you don't have the patience to thrift for Coach, no worries - I'm running a giveaway for a Coach Willis satchel! Enter here to win. Giveaway ends tomorrow!)

What are some things you always look for when you go thrifting? Do you have any favorite designers, silhouettes, or accessories that you're drawn to?

{Almost daily outfit of the day} RIP winter 2.1.12

2012-02-01T06:26:00.000-08:00

Forever 21 denim jacket; Target long-sleeved tee; thrifted vintage Kenar skirt; Spanx tights; 6x6 by Urban Outfitters ankle boots; Charming Charlie and Forever 21 bracelets

I feel like everyone I know is talking about spring.

Some people dream of it. Other's dread spring's side effects (rain, allergies.) And then there are those who are positively bereft that this winter's tepid march continues for another two months. On Pinterest, users are pinning things like floral sheer blouses and pastel sweater sets and bouquets of tulips and misty photos of woods shrouded in spring fog. On Twitter, bloggers are trading links to J Crew's spring collection. And everyone - and I do mean everyone - is discussing the lack of snow and bitter temperatures and desire for short sleeves and tightless legs.

If you're a living, breathing human who has been affected by winter's gloom at some point in your life, praying for spring makes sense. I too have found myself desperately wishing for warm weather, for buds on trees and daffodils swaying cheerfully in the soft spring breeze. But when spring does come, I find myself missing my warm cocoon of winter clothes. I miss my tights, and suede skirts, and tall boots, and cuddly blanket of wool sweaters.

This outfit might be my last hurah to winter - temperatures have been in the seventies here in Dallas. So I'm going to enjoy it.

Wonder Woman: Fierce heroine or infantilizing cosmetics marketing tool?

2012-01-31T06:35:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl, one of my favorite things to do was perch on the edge of the tiny bathroom sink of my childhood apartment and watch my mother apply her make-up. My mother was a notorious cosmetics hoarder, and lipsticks, eyeshadows, pencils and blush spilled from the medicine cabinet. In the morning, as she was readying herself for work, my mom would go through the complicated process of "putting on her face." It involved a tedious routine of blending, and brushes, and smudging. Applying her face meant as much as erasing her perceived flaws as accentuating the features she thought were acceptable. There was nothing fun about it. Putting on her face was a utilitarian act.

As a girl I had my very own make-up, from brands like Bonnie Bell and Tinkerbell and Barbie. It was scented like strawberries. I too spent time at the bathroom mirror, painting my lips and experimenting with peel-off nail polish. I wanted to look older, and glamorous, and chic, just like the models on magazines. I subjected my younger cousins to spontaneous make-overs, and we staged complicated photo shoots involving enough make-up to supply a Broadway production of Cats. Make-up was fun, and colorful, and a delightful way to practice at being a grown-up.

Somewhere between my childhood experimenting and growth into an adult, I lost the playful quality which cosmetics used to contain. Now, when I'm in front of the bathroom mirror in the morning, I too "put on my face."My routine includes eyeshadow primer, shadow, liner, mascara, foundation, and blush. I smudge and line and contour, all with the intention of covering flaws and accentuating the features I deem positive.

When the New York Times wrote about the growing market of women purchasing cosmetics featuring cartoon and comic book characters, I was intrigued. MAC, the innovator of such lines, has produced collections inspired by Hello Kitty, Miss Piggy, Wonder Woman and villainous Disney characters such as Cruella De Vil. According to David Gager, the brand's senior vice president and group creative director, cartoon-based collections generally sell very well and tend to become "very coveted and special" to consumers.

There is certainly an element of nostalgia behind the popularity of these cosmetics collections - I have fond memories of watching Wonder Woman on TV during rainy Sunday afternoons. But the cult love behind cartoon-inspired cosmetics might signify more.

Steve Stoute, an advertising executive who helped broker a collaboration between MAC and Lady Gaga said, “I think that anytime you find a way to incorporate the essence and glamour of the beauty business, but also find a way to touch a woman and make her still feel like a girl, is beautiful. It creates a healthy tangent between a little girl and a sophisticated woman.” There is something about these collections that taps into the playful, creative element of cosmetics. A glimpse of Miss Piggy on the case might remind women that cosmetics are not only functional, but also fun. In addition, swiping on a shadow from a Wonder Woman palette could inspire a woman to be sassy, or fearless, or powerful, just like her heroine was.

Some might see these collections as a baffling form of infantilizing women, and products such as Maybelline's Baby Lips lip gloss and Hello Kitty bubble bath certainly hint at it. But marketers are becoming increasingly crafty at injecting products with an emotional element. To some women, items that hint of a more innocent time resonate deeply. A Wonder Woman compact might remind these women of a time when life was simple, and their heroine was a a fictional superhero who was strong and glamorous.

So what do you think of these cartoon-inspired makeup collections? Have you ever bought cosmetics from one of the MAC lines? Are you intrigued by these collections? Do you see make-up application as a chore, or a way to be creative? How much make-up do you wear on a given day?

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Sure footed 1.30.12

2012-01-30T06:10:00.000-08:00

Forever 21 denim jacket; vintage thrifted Wrangler shirt; Gap legging jeans; Target satchel; Jeffrey Campbell 'Lita' ankle boots; Michael Kors rose gold watch; Buffalo Exchange necklaces

As a child, I was struck with the terrible affliction of having flat feet. This meant not only a need for orthopedic inserts for my shoes, but truly ugly shoes to hold them. These were shoes my mom bought at Buster Brown - sensible, solid things that were the equivalent of wearing a station wagon on my feet and made me feel clumsy and awkward.

Fortunately, as a grown woman, my flat feet are no longer a problem. So I can wear the footwear equivalent of a Jackson Pollock painting without hesitation. These Litas are surprising comfortable and made me feel supermodel tall. Six year-old me would have been insanely jealous.

On Sundays I Smile - Week in review 1.29.12

2012-01-29T09:00:00.000-08:00

On Sundays I review the past week and I Smile. I share these moments with you.

Last night I was invited to a charity dinner at III Forks in Dallas in support of the North Texas Food Bank. I'll admit that the thought of digging in to a delicious steak was almost as enticing as supporting such a worthwhile cause. Luckily, my friends Julie and Chastity were there as well, and we spent the night catching up. There was also chocolate cake to, but I ate it before taking a pic. It was that good.

What does one wear to a charity dinner? Sequins, of course. Loads and loads of sequins. Because if you want to shock a room full of women and inspire outright staring and have your picture taken a lot, nothing less will do.

Also related: I had the tattoo on my neck touched up this week. I was too freaked out to get any pics, but let me just tell you that getting a neck tattoo hurts more than childbirth. Fact. But it looks really great now, so it was worth it.

I spied this adorable 1970's latch hook wall hanging in the Salvation Army on Thursday and had major grabby hands for it. However, the mocking I was sure it would ensure from my husband kept it from coming home with me. I have a dream of covering my walls with eclectic thrift store art, and this totally would have fit the bill. Maybe someday.

This is not a photo taken inside a thrift store. No, this is my personal stock of vintage pieces about to be listed on my new Etsy shop. After months of hemming and hawing, I've decided to take the plunge and start selling. Stay tuned for more details!

Now it's your turn: What are some things that made you smile this week? Grab my button and blog about your Sunday smiles; share your weekly smiles in the comments; or smile just because it makes you feel good.

While I'm petting my sequins and popping Advil to ease the pain of my new ink, catch up on everything from Dress With Courage this week:

I joined a legion of 1980's celebrities and Dungeon and Dragons geeks and wore a vintage suede Members Only jacket;
Described my complicated relationship with food;
I ventured out of my backyard and braved curious stares of passerby for outfit pics in a scalloped blazer;
Continued my Thrifting 101 series with a post exploring thrift scores that got away;
and compared a simple outfit of boots, flannel and leather jacket to cereal.

I have one giveaway running on my blog right now:

Win a vintage Coach Willis satchel! Giveaway ends this coming Friday, February 3rd, so there's still plenty of time to enter.

Thank you for supporting me by following my blog, continuing to leave thoughtful and introspective comments, and dropping by every day. I am so appreciative that you are here.

If you're visiting my blog for the first time, think about following me through Google Friend Connect, and tweeting with me on Twitter (@dresscourage). You can also follow me on Pinterest and Instagram under Dresscourage and on Facebook.

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Coco crunch 1.27.12

2012-01-27T06:17:00.000-08:00

Thrifted J Crew leather jacket; vintage thrifted Pendleton shirt; Gap legging jeans; Frye 'Heath' boots (eBay)

Allow me, for a moment, to pontificate on cereal.

Cereal is the world's most perfect food. Think about it. When you don't feel like cooking, cereal is there. When you want something sweet and crunchy, cereal satisfies your craving. And when you need a snack, cereal is ready to nibble straight from the box. A comforting beacon in a world full of complicated choices, a bowl of cereal will never let you down.

When I was a kid, cereal came in two options. There was the boring, tasteless, unsweetened variety that languished in the back of your pantry and needed to be doctored with a hearty dose of sugar and raisins and maybe even bananas to be palatable. This is where the Rice Crispies, Cheerios, Special K and Shredded Wheat fell. Then there was the sugary stuff. This was the packaged crack you begged your mom to buy, the kind with cartoon characters on the box and marshmallow stars and a toxic level of corn syrup and turned your milk an interesting shade of pink or blue. This was cereal so lethal it gave you instant diabetes and essentially turned you into a hyperactive brat.

I wasn't allowed to have those delicious bowls of chemical delight. No, I was stuck with Rice Crispies. I hated Rice Crispies, and I was insanely jealous of anyone my age who was allowed to eat the good stuff. I spent many a morning daydreaming about when I would finally be a parent myself, and thus allowed to eat whatever the hell I wanted for breakfast. I intended to stock my pantry with Coco Puffs and Captain Crunch and Trix and my mom wouldn't be able to do a damm thing about it. I would show her.

So what did I eat his morning, as I huddled in vintage Pendleton wool to chase away the winter chill? A big, hearty bowl of Rice Crispies. Because much like my outfit of oversized shirt, skinny jeans and boots, it's tough to beat the classics.

Thrifting 101: Things I Didn't Buy at the Thrift Store

2012-01-26T06:42:00.000-08:00

It spoke to me from the depths of the rack. Tucked in a corner on the top floor of a thrift store was a stunning Victor Costa cocktail dress, created from yards of shockingly pink taffeta. A stiff poof skirt bubbled from the waist. I pulled the dress from the rack and held it to my body. It was nearly perfect, aside from a pull near the waist and a small stain near the back hem. Accented with flirtatious rows of ruffles at the bust, this 1980's dress was made for me. It spoke of youthful fun, of proms and homecoming and staying out past curfew and wearing your boyfriend's class ring around your neck. It was wondrous.

But I didn't buy it. And despite the damage, I regretted it. And with that, this dress fell into my ever-growing list of thrift scores that got away.

There are things we leave behind while thrifting that haunt us. Even though they might be damaged beyond repair, priced beyond our budget, altogether impractical, or not in our size, it can be hard to resist the emotional pull these items have on us.

I have a soft spot in my heart for vintage sequin tops, cocktail dresses and evening gowns. I love that these pieces makes me feel like a pretty pretty princess, even though I lack servants and a mansion and tiaras and all other luxurious trappings princesses have. When I go thrifting, evening wear is the first section I head to and the spot I spend the longest in. I have a hard time resisting sequined jackets and velvet cocktail dresses and well, anything crafted from tulle and taffeta. I've left things behind that make my heart weep white hot tears of sadness. Such as the 1960's allover lace wedding gown with a full crinoline circle skirt I saw in the Goodwill last week for $10. And a black and gold striped v-neck maxi dress from the 70's. And let's not forget the vintage prom dresses I used to see in Urban Outfitters while in high school. Those will haunt me forever. (Did you know Urban Outfitters sold a substantial amount of vintage back in the early 90's? Yup.)

Thrifting is a complicated process. It is not about dropping into a store and immediately finding what you need. There are no guarantees you will find success. And there's no way of knowing whether you will see any item during a future expedition. It’s a delicate dance of give and take, steadfastness, and perseverance. And restraint. There are things I see at the thrift store I desperately want, but just don't need. There are also things I could never, ever let myself purchase because of the squick factor - such as lingerie and undergarments - and things you just shouldn't buy, no matter their emotional pull. My friend Sammy posted a great list of things to avoid while thrift store shopping, and I couldn't agree more with her choices. No matter how much you love those running shoes, they won't give you the safest, most optimum stride during your workout.

Making peace with the thrift scores that got away takes time. I still think about those prom dresses I saw over twenty years ago. That pink Victor Costa will invade my dreams. But in the end, the decision not to purchase them was financial astute. It's far better to save my money for pieces I actually need - staples such as sweaters for winter and sundresses for summer.

Do you feel an emotional pull towards certain pieces while thrifing? What items do you have a hard time passing up? What are your thrift scores that got away?

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Pose 1.25.12

2012-01-25T06:14:00.000-08:00

Hunt. Gather. Style vintage Jordache blazer; thrifted J Crew blouse; thrifted J Brand jeans; Old Navy belt; Dolce Vita wedges; vintage thrifted Coach satchel (win its twin in my giveaway!)

I can't recall the names of the first personal style blogs I ever read. I don't remember the first posts I skimmed, or what the outfits contained within them looked like (though I am almost certain they involved Jeffrey Campbell shoes.) But I very vividly remember the bewilderment I felt. Who were these women with their penchant for posing in public? What made them drag their cameras and tripods or boyfriends or best friends out into the woods or parking lots or alleyways or abandoned warehouses to take pictures of themselves? What motivated them to do so? Was this vapid narcissism run amok or a new, revolutionary art form? What the heck was going on, anyway???

Yesterday I became one of those women. For the first time in the history of my blog, I left the safely guarded confines of my backyard for an alley with an even more interesting brick wall than I usually pose in front of. I ignored the curious looks of passerby. I gathered my strength, smiled widely, posed, and got the hell out of there. It felt curiously great.

Polka dot jeans, and my relationship with food

2012-01-24T07:04:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, I changed my clothes twelve times.

It was one of those days where nothing seemed to go right. My husband and I had argued about something trivial. The house was a mess. I had a long list of emails to catch up on. And I suffered a humiliating fall in front of my kids while playing tennis. Earlier in the week, I had bought a pair of jeans from Urban Outfitters, a store whose clothes seem better suited for long-limbed gangly teenagers than a middle aged mom such as myself. They were slim cut with a playful polka dot print and ended right at my ankles. I wanted these jeans to work for me. I wanted them to make me look laid-back and relaxed and youthful. I wanted them to turn me into the wistful models in the Urban Outfitters catalog, with their long straight hair and penchant for standing on cliffs in the middle of the desert staring out blankly at nothing.

I slid the jeans on and paired them with a selection of tee shirts and button-downs and thin knit sweaters. Nothing worked. The jeans constricted around my stomach and thighs. I felt myself becoming anxious. I changed and changed again, until clothes piled in a depressing heap on my bed. I felt fat. I know fat is not a feeling, but that was all I could think about. I was old and fat.

I had eaten a big meal out with my husband the night before, a meal I couldn't stop thinking it. The food was luscious - the kind that features butter as both a main ingredient and a garnish, and I felt guilty about eating it. I felt like the jeans were punishing me for it. It was hard for me to even decide if I'd liked what I'd eaten because the meal was so indulgent. I couldn't separate the guilty feelings I had from eating foods I classified as "bad" with whether I had even liked them in the first place. The jeans only made my confusion more pronounced.

There is so much discomfort about food and what normal eating is. We worry about our weight and qualify foods into "good" or "bad" types. We count calories and carefully monitor what we do and do not eat. We might shun foods that are actually good for us in an effort to avoid weight gain. Whether we count points, calories or fat grams or keep a food journal or observe and restrict ourselves in other ways, the message is the same: Following the rules is more important that actually tasting or even enjoying what we're eating. So it's no surprise that we lose touch with our bodies, and get iffy about signs that we're even hungry or full, and feel guilty when we do eat. Sometimes, once a meal is over, we often don't realize how much we ate. At the end of the day we might even struggle to recall what we put in our bodies.

Yesterday I came across an article which quoted Ellyn Satter, a renowned eating and feeding expert and a registered dietician and therapist. I love Satter’s definition of normal eating:

Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it -not just stop eating because you think you should. Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful. Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.

In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.

I worry about enjoying eating. Especially during times like now when I find myself trying more foods I've previously been uncomfortable with. I feel ashamed that I like to eat, and wish that food was just neutral to me. But enjoying food, as Satter writes on her website, is healthy.

Eating is supposed to be enjoyable. For too many of us, eating represents trouble. We feel guilty if we eat what we ”shouldn’t” and deprived if we eat what we ”should.” We eat more than we think we should, and we worry about weight. Surveys show that when the joy goes out of eating, nutrition suffers.

I don't have a very refined palette, but honestly, I adore food. I love the memories certain foods have for me - latkes at Hanukkah and cookies during Christmas; a particularly memorable piece of strawberry creme cake devoured during my 26th birthday while living in Brooklyn; the sushi my husband and I ate during one of our first dates. But of course, because I’m a woman, and because I’m a woman who grew up in an era of food awareness, in a household that reinforced dieting, I can't love food without reservation.

What's your relationship with food? How often do you feel guilty after eating? Do you categorize foods as "good" or "bad"? Do you ever feel confused about what normal eating is?

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Members only 1.23.12

2012-01-23T06:05:00.000-08:00

Vintage thrifted suede Member's Only jacket; vintage thrifted suede skirt; thrifted J Crew long sleeved tee; American Apparel tights; vintage Frye boots (eBay); thrifted Michael Kors rose gold watch

Today, I am a Member.

The Members Only jacket was one of those strange little pieces of 1980's fashion iconography that was beloved by both cultural icons and basement-dwelling Dungeons and Dragons geeks. Joined by such bizarre creations as neon leggings and boxy blazers, it's part of a select group of vintage clothing that has inexplicably become embraced by today's hipster. I blame the knit cuffs and epaulets, which help the wearer channel their inner rebel while respecting their sartorially challenged nature.

When I thrifted this jacket a year ago, I wondered about the person who originally owned it. Did they wear it with peg-legged jeans while engaged in competitive role playing games? Did the jacket encourage them to imagine they were Michael J Fox, out for a martini at some garish neon-accented bar? Maybe they wore it to a Hall and Oates concert and bragged to their friends that it was genuine suede, and thus rare and expensive. Who knows.

On Sundays I Smile - Week in review 1.22.12

2012-01-22T08:09:00.000-08:00

On Sundays I review the past week and I Smile. I share these moments with you.

One of my favorite places in Dallas to hang out is The Pearl Cup. With excellent coffee and a laid back atmosphere, it's the kind of place where people from all walks of life hang out. At the Pearl Cup, you'll find theology students, soccer moms, hipsters with their bicycles, SMU students, writers, businessmen, and designers sitting at communal tables working on their laptops and sipping on Dallas' best lattes. Sometimes they argue with each other using words I haven't heard since I studied for the verbal portion of the SAT's. It's fascinating and wondrous.

This is not a photo of the inside of my closet (though I wish it was.) This is a rack of vintage sequin blouses from one of my favorite stores in Austin. I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry tears of joy when I came across this display of gaudy eighties glamour. Thankfully, I hit the sequin motherload at thrift stores here in Dallas this week, keeping most of my money in my wallet.

Although I spend much of the week making the 30 minute drive down to Dallas, I decided to take a day exploring the town square in my own neighborhood. Downtown McKinney is home to antique malls and interesting little shops containing old furniture and books and things like preserved artichokes, which made me sneeze.

Just in case any of you think I'm the kind of mom who runs her home Martha Stuart style, meticulously cleaning and organizing and cataloging with the militant energy of a professional, I present to you a photo of my boys taken just this morning. Their room looks like a bomb went off. A bomb composed of Legos and Transformers and books and tee shirts which they insist on changing into and out of multiple times a day. They are quite pleased with themselves.

And finally, the weirdest, grossest thing I've ever come across in a thrift store: A used bed pan. Some things just can't be unseen.

Now it's your turn: What are some things that made you smile this week? Grab my button (created by Kate of Kate The Geek - HUGE THANKS to Kate!) and blog about your Sunday smiles; share your weekly smiles in the comments; or smile just because it makes you feel good.

While I'm picking Legos out of the carpet, catch up on everything from Dress With Courage this week:

I wrote an ode to a vintage sequin jacket;
Talked about the importance of having a blog mentor and gave tips on finding your own;
Confessed my distaste for being naked and wondered about a celebrity quote confessing prudishness was really about shame;
Continued my thrifting 101 series with a post providing tips for thrifting for shoes;
and posted an amazing giveaway - win a vintage Coach Willis satchel! There's still plenty of time to enter.

This week Sal of Already Pretty - my own blog mentor - was kind enough to feature my post on nudity in her Lovely Links of the week. Big thanks to Sal for the mention!

Thank you for supporting me by following my blog, continuing to leave thoughtful and introspective comments, and dropping by every day. I am so appreciative that you are here.

If you're visiting my blog for the first time, think about following me through Google Friend Connect, and tweeting with me on Twitter (@dresscourage). You can also follow me on Pinterest and Instagram under Dresscourage and on Facebook.

Giveaway time: Win a vintage Coach Willis satchel!

2012-01-20T06:22:00.000-08:00

Sometimes lightning strikes twice.

Back in the spring, I came across a vintage Coach Willis satchel while thrifting in a Goodwill. Priced at less than twenty bucks, I bought it immediately. I've used that bag more than any other in my wardrobe, and considered it a true blessing from the thrifting gods.

Yesterday I went on another thrifting excursion, this time to a different store, and what did I come across? The exact same vintage Coach satchel, looking all lonely and abandoned behind the register.

I couldn't very well just leave it there. So I decided it would make a fantastic giveaway here on the blog.

This bag is exactly like the classic Coach Willis satchel here on the Coach website, though it does not have an adjustable shoulder strap. And it won't cost you $298. It has faded into a very rich brown and is in excellent vintage condition, with just a bit of darkening on the top handle and strap. There's also a pen mark on the inside flap, though it is not noticeable at all. I've given the bag a thorough cleaning and it really is gorgeous!

To enter to win this vintage Coach bag, simply do the following:

Follow me through Google Friend Connect (button is a bit down on my right sidebar.)

For additional bonus entries:

Follow me on Twitter;
and tweet the following about the giveaway: I just entered to win a #vintage @Coach Willis satchel from @dresscourage. You have a chance to win too! http://tinyurl.com/7ojpem5

That's it! Please leave a separate comment with each entry, including your email address so I can contact you if you win. US residents only. Giveaway ends on February 3rd. Winner will be drawn using Random.org.

This giveaway is sponsored by me. Coach has no idea who I am. I could fall off the face of the Earth tomorrow and Coach would never know.

Thrifting 101: How To Thrift For Shoes

2012-01-19T06:57:00.000-08:00

Do you have an issue buying shoes from a thrift store?

I've struggled with the squick factor regarding thrifting shoes. The thought that thrifted footwear was once home to someone else's sweaty, possibly smelly feet once is a hard one to negotiate. However, in the end, wearing shoes purchased from a thrift store is no different than wearing anything else I've thrifted. With a thorough cleaning and sanitizing, thrifted or vintage shoes are just as economically smart as any other item gleamed from the thrift store.

Thrifting for shoes can be quite difficult. Most of the footwear I come across during thrift store excursions has seen better days. From torn leather to worn soles to missing clasps and scuffed heels, searching for, and finding, a wearable and stylish pair of shoes can be an arduous task. However, few things beat the thrill of finding a great pair of Ferragamo or Prada pumps for a fraction of their retail price.

(A random selection of shoes seen at my local Salvation Army. Yes, those are vintage Prada and Ferragamo heels, both priced at $15. Yes, I hyperventilated a little.)

If you're ready to consider wearing thrifted footwear, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

Come prepared: This one might seem obvious, but bring a pair of socks with you every time you go thrifting just in case you see a pair of shoes that interest you. Besides avoiding direct contact with an unsanitized pair of shoes, you'll get a more accurate idea of how they'll fit.
Quality: Before trying on a pair of shoes, give them a once-over for cracked leather, splitting heels, stains on suede and discolored fabric. Woven leather shoes are also prone to fraying. I suggest looking on the inside of the shoes as well, as torn or missing insoles can make them unbearably uncomfortable to wear, no mater how intact the outside of the shoe might be.
Dig deeper: Examine the stitching and the buckles/holes on straps. Loose stitching can be easily fixed, but stretched out stitching or torn holes can’t. A missing buckle might be hard to fix too, especially if the strap is an odd size or the buckle a specially made one.
Heel strength: There's no point in buying a pair of shoes if the heel is weak or splitting. Bend the heel back gently and check to make sure it isn't wobbly or flimsy. However, if you've fallen in love with a pair of shoes with broken heels and you're willing to cover the extra expense, heels can be replaced.
Do the shoes fit? Never, ever buy a pair of thrifted shoes without trying them on. Vintage shoes are often much more narrow that today's versions.

If you've found a great pair of shoes at a thrift store and are ready to take them home, here's a simple way to sanitize them:

Wipe the inside of the shoe down with rubbing alcohol or bleach. If using bleach, mix 1/4 cup with water and using a spray bottle, spritz the solution on the inside of the shoe. Be sure the liquid doesn’t come in contact with the outside of the shoe, the bleach can ruin the material. Air the shoes out over night. If there are insoles, you definitely want to replace them.

And in the naked light I saw: Nudity, shame and celebrity

2012-01-18T06:18:00.000-08:00

{Source}

I have never, ever enjoyed being naked. Not as a child, and certainly not as an adult. I did not grow up in a naked house. My parents were firm believers in sheathing our naked bits in layers of clothing, preferably made from wool. I don't walk around my house naked. I don't go to sleep naked. I don't wash the dishes, or so any sort of housework, naked. I don't soak for hours in the tub or read books naked in front of my fireplace or go to nudist beaches. And I cannot relate to those inane magazine spreads featuring naked models just lounging around, looking simultaneously bored and glamorous. Those are the worst.

So you can imagine my confusion when I, chronic avoider of nakedness, gave birth to three children who adore nothing more than being au natural. My children are the nudist version of Hansel and Gretel, shedding clothes around the house the moment they arrive home from school. They strut from room to room, bare stomachs jutting out in front of them, without a care in the world. Warm, rainy weather brings not the opportunity to huddle inside watching cartoons, but the chance to scamper outside in rainboots and their birthday suits. Their bodies are an endless source of fascination, and their lumps, smells and sounds are debated with the same intensity as the Nurenburg trials.

As far as my children are concerned, clothes are confining, itchy, suffocating instruments of torment better left to uptight adults like myself. Clothes squeeze their necks and leave marks on their skin. Clothes make them sweaty. No matter what they're made from, clothes will never feel as good as being naked does.

The other day I came across the following quote from Carey Mulligan, the pixie-like actress from An Education (one of my favorite movies):

"I tend to clamp up on camera, but this meant working with no inhibitions. I mean, I don't wear a bikini on the beach. I walk around my house in pyjamas. I haven't seen myself naked in the mirror for probably a decade. I'm very prudish."

I like to think that actresses spend hours starring at their naked reflections in the mirror, transfixed by their own glistening perfection. They pay obscene sums to personal trainers and get spray-tanned and spend long, luxurious hours under the strong hands of a masseuse at an exotic spa somewhere in Bali. It's challenging for me to wrap my head around the concept that tiny framed Carey Mulligan, she of the pixie cut and poreless skin, purposely avoids seeing her nude self. I wonder if her prudishness is a cover for body insecurity. I wonder if she feels ashamed with how she looks. And I wonder if she always has. Did she wander around naked as a child and stomp around nude in the rain? Did she shed her clothes like a snake slithering from its skin after a day at school? Did her body ever fascinate and entertain, rather than admonish and scold?

I wonder if I will ever be comfortable being naked. Perhaps I'm just not a naked person. But it would be nice not to avert my eyes when faced with my own nude reflection. Claiming my nakedness would reaffirm my commitment towards self-acceptance, flaws and all. It would help destroy those irrational thoughts of having to be being perfect or looking as I "should." It would force me to examine who I am without my protective layers of wool and cotton, cable knit and denim. And it would bring me closer to the pure delight of living in my body and embracing what it is to be me.

Now I ask you: How comfortable are you with being naked? Do you enjoy spending time in the nude when you're at home? Does your naked body make you feel self-conscious, whether you're alone or with a significant other? Has being naked ever interfered between intimate moments with your spouse or boyfriend?

Blog Mentors: Why they're important, and how to find the right one for you

2012-01-17T06:30:00.000-08:00

I'll be the first to admit that when I started blogging, I had little idea what I was doing. I was an avid blog reader but unaware of ways to improve my photos, decipher my blog stats, and methods to elevate my content. I knew little about sponsor relationships and even less about the blogging community. Fortunately, I was able to connect with bloggers who provided much-needed guidance. These smart, stylish women helped me learn to focus less on my page views and more on my content. They gave me a shoulder to lean on when I faced negative comments. They featured my posts and mentioned me in weekly link roundups. And they encouraged me to use social media to reach out to the blogging community for help when I needed it.

In the best case scenario, a blogging mentor is someone with whom you develop a relationship with and rely on for friendship, guidance and growth. A mentor serves as an adviser, sharing his or her experiences and insights. A mentor guides your growth by answering questions and serving as a role model. And a mentor helps shape your thoughts by giving you access to their thoughts.

We all have mentors on our journey through life. Your parents were no doubt your first mentors. A respected teacher might have filled the role for a time. Employers, co-workers, and friends have probably mentored you through the years.

There are a number of key reasons why having a blog mentor is so important:

Encouragement: When you're facing writer's block, have confusion how to approach a post topic, or just feel discouraged and anxious, a blogging mentor can help you get through it. Confiding in someone who understands the tricky, often overwhelming world of blogging can help you find perspective and support you through challenges.
Constructive criticism: Do you need a better layout? Could your photos use improvement? Is your content boring and lackluster? Could you use improvement connecting with your readers? Your blog mentor will tell you the truth on these matters. Constructive criticism is invaluable when it comes to growth. It's important to note that this criticism is not meant to hurt. Your blog mentor is just trying to help you grow professionally.
Expertise: Ideally, your mentor is someone with considerable experience as a blogger and has paid their dues and earned the right to give advice. They've faced challenges and fought through them with grace and intelligence, and learned valuable lessons along the way.

Finding a blog mentor needn't be complicated. There are a number of ways to go about striking up a relationship with a blogger you admire and want to learn from:

Use social media: Twitter and Facebook are invaluable outlets of communication. Got a quick question? Want to strike up a dialogue? Follow your favorite blogger on Twitter and fan their Facebook page. Comment on their tweets and posts, and follow up with insightful, intelligent remarks.
Attend blog conferences: Conferences such as the Texas Style Council Conference, IFB's Evolving Influence Conference, and Lucky FABB are great opportunities to meet and mingle with blog mentors. Influential bloggers attend these conferences to share what they've learned, and they want to meet you! Hand out your business cards and follow up when the conference is through.
Send an email: Most of my own contact with mentors began with a simple email. Whether you have a quick question, or are looking to tackle a larger problem, email is an easy route towards establishing a relationship with a blog mentor.

You probably already have a blog mentor without even realizing it. Your blogging mentors are the people who write the blogs you most enjoy and find the most useful. They share their knowledge in the words they write and offer advice on how to blog better or how to dress better or how to lead a more productive life. Spend time understanding them beyond the words they write. Look for the indirect advice they impart. Pay attention to what they do instead of only what they say. Deconstruct the blog and figure out why you like it. Is it the writing? Is it the layout? The ideas? When one of your blogging mentors offers advice that resonates with you, take time to observe how they apply it on their blogs. Keep it in your mind while reading their posts, and when you notice them putting their own advice to use study what they did, how they did it, and why it works.

Do you have any blogging mentors? Do you look beyond their posts for insight? Who are some of the bloggers who influence you most?

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Ode to a vintage sequin jacket 1.16.12

2012-01-16T09:06:00.000-08:00

Buffalo Exchange vintage sequin jacket: thrifted J Brand jeans; thrifted Gap long-sleeved tee; Dolce Vita ankle boots; Bloom clutch

Dear vintage sequin jacket,

We met innocently enough. It was an unusually warm January day, leading a girl to dream of picnics and leisurely strolls through the park. I was wandering through Buffalo Exchange, browsing through racks of mini dresses, sheer metallic blouses, silk tunics, plush vintage furs and crushed velvet overalls when my hand brushed against your embellished sleeve. You winked at me knowingly, sequins reflecting the bright overhead light.You knew I would have a difficult time resisting you. I examined your rows of white bugle beads and tiny embroidered sequin flowers. I was entranced by your delicate lavender and pale green beading against white silk. We considered each other. I asked myself if I really needed another vintage sequin jacket. Were you worth $16? Did I even have room for you in my nearly overflowing closet? And what in the world was I going to wear you with?

So here we are together, vintage sequin jacket. I'm pleased with how you elevate an ordinary Gap long sleeved tee to something special. I'm glad you are in my life. I can't quit you, vintage sequin jacket. We were meant to be.

On Sundays I Smile - Week in review January 15th

2012-01-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

On Sundays I review the past week and I Smile. I share these moments with you.

I'm spending this weekend in Austin, visiting with Grechen and planning the Texas Style Council Conference with Indiana. On my first night here, I walked down to 6th Street for a shot of whiskey and blues in a a tiny dark bar. There was also the best guacamole I've ever eaten, a barrage of stoned hipsters playing banjoes on the sidewalk, and a near-collision with a drunk girl who almost threw up on me - a totally average night on 6th Street, I was told.

While here in Austin I had the opportunity to meet Theresa of Tess Dress. I've never meet with a designer before and I really enjoyed taking a behind-the-scenes tour of her studio, seeing sketches of her spring line, and talking about our shared love of vintage clothing. Theresa was knowledgeable and a real joy to meet. I'm looking forward to working with her in the future!

Yesterday my friend Grechen took me to one of her favorite stores, Moss. Moss is an upscale consignment store, offering things like Christian Louboutain shoes and Prada bags and Moschino sequin and lace encrusted blazers and this absolutely amazeballs Chanel bolero that, at $1250, was a teensy bit out of my budget.

Also spied in Austin: Neon trimmed bags from Theyskens Theory at Barneys. Do want.

This week in thrifting, I hit the sequin motherload. While I was entranced by the floor-grazing pink sequin evening gown shown above, I decided to leave it behind, as I participate in few occasions that call for a floor-grazing pink sequin evening gown. It was pretty fantastic though.

Now it's your turn: What are some things that made you smile this week? Grab my button (created by Kate of Kate The Geek - HUGE THANKS to Kate!) and blog about your Sunday smiles; share your weekly smiles in the comments; or smile just because it makes you feel good.

As I'm scrubbing paint of my dining room table, catch up on everything from Dress With Courage this week:

I channeled my inner English country girl in tweed and fur;
Wondered how gender differences influence the shopping habits of men and women;
Shared my struggle over a conversation between myself and relatives about the issue of my "perfect weight";
Continued my Thrifting 101 series with an interview with Beth of {Parsimonia} Secondhand With Style regarding thrifting for resale;
and mixed patterns with black and yellow in an outfit of the day post.

This week my post on my perfect weight was included in The Beheld's Beauty Blogophere of the week. Big thanks to Autum for the feature!

Thank you for supporting me by following my blog, continuing to leave thoughtful and introspective comments, and dropping by every day. I am so appreciative that you are here.

If you're visiting my blog for the first time, think about following me through Google Friend Connect, and tweeting with me on Twitter (@dresscourage). You can also follow me on Pinterest and Instagram under Dresscourage and on Facebook.

{Almost daily outfit of the day} The bee's knees 1.13.12

2012-01-13T06:36:00.000-08:00

Gap sweater; Target long-sleeve tee; thrifted vintage wrap skirt; We Love Colors tights; Urban Outfitters ankle wedges

Bees are scary. Bees are almost as scary as a zombie apocalypse, or runs in your tights, or spending an entire day with a piece of lettuce stuck in your teeth without anyone telling you. Bees divebomb picnics and chase terriified children through parks and generally make summer outdoor activities miserable. I was stung by a bee when I was five. I had innocently plucked a flower from the garden in my backyard and suffered a sting on my palm. It hurt. It hurt like the white-hot flame of a thousand suns. Or at least I remember it that way. That bee sting left me forever wary of both insects and gardening, two things that seemed perfectly innocent prior to the assault.

Worn together, yellow and black make my post traumatic stress disorder twitch. Nevertheless, this sweater is one of my favorites.

Thrifting 101: Thrifting For Resale with Beth of {Parsimonia} Secondhand With Style

2012-01-12T06:43:00.000-08:00

I thrift to save money. I thrift for fun. I thrift to archive little pieces of fashion history to pass down to my daughter. I thrift for my husband, my children, my friends. I thrift when I'm bored, when I'm happy, when I'm feeling a little blue and need a little pick-me-up. But I do not thrift for resale - not yet, anyway. Despite the exploding popularity of websites, Etsy shops and Ebayers devoted to selling thrifted vintage clothing, accessories and housewares, I've felt intimidated to thrift with the express purpose of resale.

However, in recent weeks I've grown intrigued with the idea of thrifting for resale, so I decided to turn to an experienced vintage store owner for advice. My friend Beth of the blog {Parsimonia} Secondhand With Style has been thrifting for resale for years, and recently launched a new website devoted to selling vintage clothing, accessories and home decor. I asked her to give some advice to my readers intrigued by the idea of thrifting for resale.

1. When did you start thrifting for resale? What made you decide to do so?

It was kind of providential, actually. I was still in Los Angeles, newly married (as in less than a month) and had recently been laid off from my job (as in the day I got back from my honeymoon...I know, right?). I have a degree in journalism and had been working in publishing, but there wasn't much available at that time. I hadn't really planned on being a stay-at-home wife, so I was going a bit stir crazy. Then one night my husband and I were talking and he asked me one question: "If there's something you could do the rest of your life and be happy, what would it be?" My immediate answer was "thrift." It's something I've been doing since I was about 12, and I never tire of it. I especially love vintage items, and had already been accumulating and learning about them for a couple years at that point. So we set aside a small amount of start-up money for me to build up inventory, and eventually I launched an Etsy store, followed by my own site this past November, then hopefully a brick-and-mortar store somewhere in St. Louis in a couple years.

2. What do you look for when considering an item? Do you buy by season, brand, and /or silhouette?

Okay...I'm going to break this answer into a couple sections, and hopefully not ruffle any feathers. :)

First, I feel there are two kinds of resellers: the pragmatic kind who follow the latest trends to a T and only look for those items to resell. They don't really think about their store's "style" or anything, they just see a rise in demand and try to become a supplier. As such, they tend to buy things at higher price (it's a relative since everyone has a different idea of "high," but for me it's above thrift store prices!) and as a result, their stores are usually fairly expensive. Now, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with this philosophy, especially if you're reselling full time. Everyone has to make a living.

The second kind of reseller takes a bit of an opposite approach. They have a vague idea of what's popular right now, but it's not the only thing that drives their inventory. They integrate their own style into things and bring a bit more creativity to the process, staying true to their own style eye and hoping to develop a demand for their curating abilities, in a sense. (Gee, can you tell which one I'm trying to be?) :)

All that said, my first rule of anything I put in my store is if I wouldn't wear it/use it myself, then it doesn't make the cut. I don't really read any fashion/style blogs (except this one!), and I'm the first to admit I can't name more than five high-end designers (if that); instead, I've learned to trust my instincts and what I'm drawn to. For the most part it pays off, although sometimes I look at something a couple weeks after I buy it and say, "What was I thinking?" But it's a learning process. Over time and with more experience, you develop your eye for items and hone your store's style, which I think is the beauty of reselling. In my ideal resale world, each store would have some broad similarities, but shine on their own in the details and really showcase the owner's eye. I love walking into a store where you can tell something about the owner based on the merchandise.

Now, all of that said, there are some practical guidelines I follow. I shop for every season all the time for a couple reasons: 1) If you ship internationally, that means when it's winter here, it's summer somewhere else, and 2) Summer stuff is usually on sale (or priced lower) during the winter, and vice verse, so you'll often see me picking up coats in the summer and sleeveless dresses in the winter.

As far as brands, I don't really pay attention to them and usually don't know I've stumbled across a good one until I'm researching it at home. Sometimes I'll remember that certain brands are selling well (like Pendleton right now), but it doesn't really drive what I decide to buy.

As for silhouettes, I tend to stay away from that skirt/dress length that falls between the knees and ankles because it's not really flattering on anyone. Long sleeves are also challenging because a lot of them take away from an otherwise beautiful dress. A couple times I've bought them anyway and then took the sleeves off at home, but those dresses are usually for me; my sewing skills aren't good enough to alter for resale, but maybe someday! :) Overall, I just try and stay away from anything that looks frumpy and doesn't have any interesting or defined lines.

3. What items sell best in your shop? What doesn't?

For me, dresses sell best, which, as a woman, I can understand. They're an outfit in and of themselves and are fairly simple (and inexpensive) to have altered. The worst is shoes...they're something that's so important to try on. As such, I only pick up ones I think are especially cute.

4. Any items you recommend thrifters avoid when considering resale?

If you don't think you'll have the time or the know-how to clean or fix things, don't get clothing or linens that have stains or tears, because eventually you'll end up with a pile of merchandise that's just sitting there. (I speak from experience here.) Also, if you're reselling vintage, don't just buy something because it is vintage. As someone who also shops at vintage stores, it's so unappealing to see a store stuffed to the brim with anything that's old, especially when you see a lot of styles that are just never

5. How do you decide what to price an item?

Research, research, research. See what similar items are selling for on other online marketplaces, then decide what to price yours based on comparable quality and condition.

6. Any final tips for those thinking about thrifting for resale?

One time I asked a friend of mine who is really good at photography why she didn't try to make a living doing it, and she said it wouldn't be fun anymore, that she wouldn't enjoy it. If thrifting is something you absolutely love to do, will you still love it if it becomes your business? And will you still love it if your business flops? It's important to ask those questions, because passion is what gets you through the monotony.

Have you thought about thrifting for resale? Do you currently thrift for clothing, accessories or home decor and sell it on Etsy, Ebay, your blog, or a stand-alone website? Got any advice you'd like to share?

The issue of my perfect weight.

2012-01-11T06:08:00.000-08:00

In October, while I was in New York, I took the train out to Long Island to visit family I hadn't seen in nearly two years. My stomach was in knots. The relatives I'd planned to meet had never seen my tattoos, my red hair, my nose piercing (which I'll admit is tiny, but significant) and I was unsure how they would react. And there was also the matter of my weight - as a byproduct of recovery from my eating disorder, I'd gained about 35 pounds since our last visit. In the days preceding our reunion I played out various scenarios of how the day might go. I girding myself against possible shock or hostility or long, uncomfortable pauses. I was anxious. I couldn't sleep. I talked to my husband about it.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" he asked.
"Because," I said, but then I realized I had no idea. I was an accomplished woman, with three beautiful children, a successful blog, a blossoming freelance writing career and a book to publish. My anxiety made no rational sense. These people were my family, and they loved me. I was being ridiculous.

When I arrived at my family's house, there were hugs and kisses and no mention of any of the things I was worried about. Well, not at first.

"Well," said my relative. "You look great. Really. You're at your perfect weight. This is your perfect weight."

The rest of the visit went by in a blur. Through our afternoon of lunch and shopping and coffee and chatter, I felt increasingly flummoxed. The words "perfect weight" hung over me like one of those thought bubbles in a cartoon. What did they mean? Was I at my perfect weight? Was this the way I was destined to look? That morning I'd spent fifteen minutes in front of the full-length mirror in my hotel room, examining the way my thighs looked in my suede skirt. They didn't seem perfect to me. Neither did my stomach, or my knees, or the backs of my arms. As a matter of fact, I was pretty dissatisfied with my body in general. It jiggled and took up too much space. If this was my perfect weight, I wanted no part of it at all. No sir.

Sometimes I feel like there's an invisible scale that follows me around. It sits next to me when I eat, staring pointedly at the pat of butter on my bread roll. It lurks in the corner while I'm running on my treadmill. I open the door to my pantry and the invisible scale glares at me from a shelf, dictating what I should and should not eat. And worst of all, it regularly reminds me of my lowest weight, the number I was when I was sick and starving.

That damm scale.
My damm weight.

I don't want to be the kind of woman who thinks about their weight all the time. Truthfully, I don't really give a damm what my perfect weight is. I invest a lot of energy in not thinking about my weight, and only perseverate on it when someone else (like my doctor, or husband...or relative) brings it up. I'd much rather spend my time concentrating on writing, or hiking with my kids, or thrifting, or reading a good book.

I understand that my relative meant well. I know they never intended to send me into a spiral of self-doubt. Ultimately, it's up to me to process comments about my body in a healthy, rational way. There will always be people who take it upon themselves to comment on my body, well-meaning or not, and that invasion is much more concerning than whatever my "perfect weight" is. I'm not sure when it became acceptable for anyone to comment on another person's weight, or body shape, or other attribute of appearance. Increasingly, it seems our bodies are not our own. Whether it's relatives, or the media, or self-help books telling us how we should look, the message is the same: As women, we exist for public display.

This morning I ate Greek yogurt with granola and bananas for breakfast. It was delicious. And I didn't think about my perfect weight once.

Men are from Sears; Women are from the mall: Stockpiling, shopping, and gender

2012-01-10T06:31:00.000-08:00

I went shopping with my husband the other day. This was a rare occurrence, the sort of thing that happens with the same frequency as the passing of Halley's Comet. He needed jeans and casual shirts to replace the fraying college sweatshirt he insists on dragging out during weekends, so to the Gap Outlet we went.

Once we arrived, I meandered over to a tantalizing display of cable-knit sweaters while he strode purposefully towards the men's wear. A mere ten minutes later he had finished, and victoriously marched towards the register with an armload of identical crewnecks in multiple colors and a single pair of jeans. I, on the other hand, was still considering a red cardigan, black tights, leopard ballet flats, a gold belt, grey jeans, two long-sleeved tees and a pile of socks.

Back in December, the New York Times examined the shopping habits of men, and came to the conclusion that men stockpile and women shop. The article profiled sixteen men, some of whom are employed in the fashion industry as designers, style bloggers and magazine editors, and described their buying habits. Designer Billy Reid confessed to buying "three or four" pairs of identical Levis at a time. Gabe Schulman, contributor to Thestyleblogger, explained that he loved the cut of a particular pair of pants so much that he bought four identical pairs. And tattoo artist Scott Campbell told of his infatuation with plain old black Gold Toe socks, of which he purchases in bulk.

When I shop, I'm perfectly content to meander through sprawling displays or detour through the shoe department. I give little thought to stopping at a cosmetics counter for a quick spray of perfume before, maybe, making a purchase. In contrast, Wharton Business School research has discovered that men regard shopping as a mission and are much less inclined to browse and wander. In general, men intend to buy a targeted item and flee the store as quickly as possible.

In a study titled, "Men Buy, Women Shop," researchers at Wharton's Jay H. Baker Retail Initiative and the Verde Group, a Toronto consulting firm, found that men are more likely to respond to more utilitarian aspects of the shopping experience than women are - such as the availability of parking, whether the item they came for is in stock, and the length of the checkout line. However, Women place more value on the attention of customer sales associates, and whether associates are readily available to help when needed.

One female shopper between the ages of 18 and 35 told the researchers: "I love shopping. I love shopping even when I have a deadline. I just love shopping." Compare that to this response from a male in the same age group who described how men approach retailing: "We're going to this store and we buy it and we leave because we want to do something else."

I believe most men shop like they're smartbombs dropped from F-22's. They're tactical. They have lists. If they walk into a mall, they usually know exactly where they're going and what they're buying. They are concerned with durability and comfort because if the item lasts, they can shop less often. These men generally don't pay attention to what's trendy. They don't go from store to store to store. They don't wander aimlessly. They want to get in, buy what they need, and get out.That's it.

This utilitarian shopping philosophy easily explains the tendency of some men to stockpile favorite pieces. However, I also know women who dread going shopping, and negotiate the need for new clothes with both online ordering and purchasing multiple pieces of the same item in different colors. The tricky fit of certain pieces, such as jeans and undergarments, may also encourage a shopper of either gender to stockpile. My own stockpile of J Brand jeans is a testament to my preference towards their fit.

The Times article led me to wonder if gender differences in shopping habits really are as concrete as the piece suggests. Do you consider yourself a stockpiler when it comes to shopping? Do you prefer to wander and browse, or are you focused on buying what you need and leaving when finished?

{Almost daily outfit of the day} English heart 1.9.12

2012-01-09T06:31:00.000-08:00

Vintage thrifted blazer; thrifted cashmere sweater; thrifted J Brand jeans; vintage mink stole; Dolce Vita wedges; Rebecca Minkoff crossbody bag

I've never been to London. I've never explored an English castle or climbed into a crumbling 16th century turret. I've never ridden through the countryside on horseback, wind whipping my hair. I haven't taken afternoon tea in Kensington's Milestone Hotel. I've never sat in a dark pub drinking Guinness (or whatever the English like to drink) while watching a rousing football match on the telly. I've yet to slink through London's snug streets at night, feet striding on weathered cobblestone. I've never caught a bus in Trafalger Square. And I've never, ever eaten fish and chips wrapped in newspaper and doused in vinegar - the proper English way. Not even once.

But I did borrow a bit of dress from the English today with my tweed blazer and elbow patches. My outfit might be accessorized by a New York accent, but my inner Londoner is quite happy, mates.

On Sundays I Smile - Week in review 1.8.12

2012-01-08T09:04:00.000-08:00

On Sundays I review the past week and I Smile. I share these moments with you.

I went to a new-to-me antique mall this week, where I spent an hour wandering around and experiencing severe grabby hands for most of the things I saw. The antique mall makes me want to live Mrs Havisham-style inside a house filled with all sorts of intriguing ephemera - things like teacups and stacks of dusty books and silver that needs polishing and fading lace curtains on the windows and chipped primitive furniture.

Found in the thrift store this week: A 1950's peach satin gown and matching overcoat with lace detailing on the sleeves. I imagine the woman who owned this set paired it with a bouffant and long white opera gloves and wore it to a a wedding, where she danced to Perry Como and drank Manhattans.

When I was a kid, my favorite thing to do was crack open a case of watercolors and paint. I wasn't especially talented, but I loved mixing the colors and creating composition of fairies and rainbows and other childish subjects. I'm happy to have passed my love of painting down to my kids, although they prefer to paint robots and Pokemon battles.

On Wednesday morning my day started with a pink sunrise, and my 6 am wake-up time felt a little bit less painful.

Now it's your turn: What are some things that made you smile this week? Grab my button (created by Kate of Kate The Geek - HUGE THANKS to Kate!) and blog about your Sunday smiles; share your weekly smiles in the comments; or smile just because it makes you feel good.

As I'm scrubbing paint of my dining room table, catch u on everything from Dress With Courage this week:

I broke out a new pair of vintage Frye boots and Missoni for Target cardigan in an outfit of the day post;
Shared my simple style resolutions for 2012 - what are yours?
Asked you to join me at the 2012 Texas Style Council Conference in March! (Are you going? Leave a comment and let me know!)
Continued my Thrifting 101 series with a definitive guide to vintage fur fashion;
and explored my complicated relationship with a favorite cardigan.

{Almost daily outfit of the day} Flummoxed. 1.6.12

2012-01-06T06:46:00.000-08:00

Thrifted Gap cardigan; American Eagle thermal tee; Gap legging jeans; Gap belt; DSW boots; thrifted vintage Coach bag

I tend to avoid waxing poetic about my clothes too much here on the blog. But today I would like to address the love-hate relationship I have with this cardigan. Wearing it demands the labor-intensive, fastidious, and specific placement of a belt to ensure the presence of my waist and prevention of unflattering bunching and resulting illusion of a food baby. Furthermore, the heavy wool knit demands a cold, blustery day to avoid sweltering to death. However, the cardigan's dreamy colors and cozy hug comfort me in a way few articles of clothing do. I suppose that in clothes, much as in life, you can't have it all.

Thrifting 101: A Definitive Guide To Vintage Fur Fashion

2012-01-05T07:10:00.000-08:00

When I was in New York City back in October, I had the chance to drop by the Columbus Avenue Flea Market. I spent most of a morning wandering through the aisles, examining an eclectic mix of handmade, vintage, and junk. In between booths hawking delicate glass bottles, antique toasters, handmade soaps, and chain link purses was a seller offering nothing but vintage furs. Fur coats, wraps, scarves, earmuffs, hats, and stoles draped over the racks in a luxuriously plush heap. I spent a good half-hour running my hands over the glossy pelts, imagining an occasion that would demand a mink stole or fox-trimmed swing coat

Vintage fur is a great alternative to new. Styles can be very unique, and it is often much less expensive than a new coat. Fur is absolutely timeless, as it never goes out of style and can maintain its beauty for years to come. It is also very versatile, pairing well with everything from cocktail dresses to blue jeans.

Vintage fur offers a fun, classic and more humane alternative to fur lovers who want to enjoy the feel of their favorite pelt without contributing to the harm of an animal. By buying a vintage fur coat, you are giving new purpose to a classic fashion. However, vintage fur requires extra attention. Age, storage, and overall condition can determine whether a thrifted fur is a great bargain or better left on the rack.

Identifying Fur By Type

There are several different types of fur. Occasionally, you'll be able to identify what type you've come across by a tag on the inside of the piece. If no tag is present, the appearance of the fur can usually determine what type you have. For a more thorough guide to types of fur, see my friend Sammy Davis' post on identifying fur types.

Beaver: The sturdiest, warmest, and most hard-wearing fur available. Very dense and thick. Beaver fur sparked the fur trade in North America between Native Americans and Europeans, nearly resulting in the beaver's extinction. From the early 1600's to the late 1700's beaver fur was often used to create men's felt hats.
Chinchilla: Fur will be very soft with a gray or slate blue color.
Coyote: Very dense and creamy fur. Coyote fur is usually used for men's coats and is tan or grey.
Ermine: White with black tips. Ermine is a type of weasel, and the fur is usually very silky.
Fisher: Fur is very long, dark and shiny.
Fox: Thick, plush fur with a short pelt. Often used a trim on vintage coats, either on the collar or cuffs. Available in gold, silver, blue, white and red. Often dyed.
Lamb: Lightweight, shiny fur. The coat has a wave pattern to it and fur will often be long and curly. Typically comes in white but can also be found in gray, black or brown.
Lynx: Color varies from medium brown to goldish to beige-white. Often spotted with dark brown spots.
Mink: Very silky and dense fur. Flat and non-bulky. Natural mink ranges in color from chocolate brown to dark brown to black, while farmed mink can come in colors ranging from silver blue, pearl, beige and platinum to black. Mink fur coats can be sheared or full skin. Here's an interesting fact: Male mink coats are thicker and more dense than female mink coats, which are silkier and have a higher luster. As a result, male mink coats are often more expensive.
Rabbit: Grooved, medium-length fur. This is the most frequent type of fur seen at thrift stores, and available in nearly every color and pattern imaginable, including blue, pink, black and marbled. Rabbit fur comes in two layers - a soft undercoat with a top layer of longer guard hairs. It is known to shed lightly, especially in areas that are more susceptible to wearing such as shoulders and sleeves.
Sable: Lightweight, silky fur. Sable fur is the most expensive fur in the world because it is rare and extremely shiny. Available in sandy yellow to dark black.

Identifying fake fur can be difficult, even for the most experienced thrifter. The market is flooded with cheep, synthetic materials, many which do a surprisingly remarkable job of pretending to be a fur they are not. Here are some ways to identify whether a fur is fake or genuine:

Examine underneath the lining of the garment, looking for the back of the "fur" itself. Real fur backs look like leather and are usually sewn in strips or patchwork. Fake fur has a uniform, stitched pattern resembling knit work.
Rub the "hairs" between your fingers. Animal fur rolls easily and feels smooth, while fake fur feels coarse.
Stick a pin through the base of a fur. With fake fur, the pin will hardly resist and go straight through. The leather at the back of a genuine fur will resist and make it difficult to push the pin through.

Thrifting for Vintage Fur

Thrifting for vintage fur is an excellent option if you're looking for a warm, stylish piece for winter at an affordable price. However, the delicate nature of genuine fur can result in tears, discoloration, mildew and odors that are impossible to repair and often difficult to notice.

Never buy an oxidized fur piece. If the fur has a yellow tinge, it has been exposed to sunlight and become oxidized. Check areas that are frequently exposed to sunlight, such as shoulders and sleeves.
Fur should have a supple, soft feel. If it is brittle it has become dried out, or has dry rot. Both conditions are unrepairable.
Examine the entire length of the piece for rips. Rips are often a sign of dry rot, and mending a rip is a costly process you most likely want to avoid. Be sure to check areas such as arm holes, neckline, and hem.
It is normal for a vintage fur to shed a bit. Some delicate furs, such as rabbit or chinchilla, break easily, and most vintage furs will shed with vigorous handling. However, if the fur is coming off in clumps, or breaks easily at the slightest touch, avoid buying it.

Caring for Vintage Fur

When you thrift a vintage fur, it's important to care for it as if it was new. Knowing how to care for your fur will help extend the life of the garment and ensure years of luxurious wear.

Ideally, your fur should be kept in cold storage in the vault of a reputable furrier. If storing your vintage fur in your own closet, make sure it has enough space to hang comfortably. Never store your vintage fur in a plastic bag; the delicate material requires proper air circulation.
Hang your fur in your closet using a padded, broad-shouldered hanger. Do not use wire hangers.
Limit the amount of time you expose your vintage fur to the strain of purse and shoulder straps, which can also take a toll on your garment.
Avoid spraying any chemicals, including perfume and hairspray, directly onto the coat. The alcohol contained in these products will dry out the fur and any leather used on the piece.
Take your vintage fur to a furrier as soon as you detect a tear, rip or other damage. Delaying the fur repair process can contribute to extensive damage. In addition, attempts to repair the garment yourself may actually worsen the damage and require even costlier repairs.
Seek the expertise of a furrier for an annual cleaning and conditioning of your vintage fur. Having your fur professionally cleaned will help eliminate unwanted odor, and the conditioning process, also called a glossing, will help restore oils that are essential to the longevity of your fur.

Join me at the 2012 Texas Style Council Conference!

2012-01-04T06:30:00.000-08:00

I'm gearing up to start what might be the busiest three months of my life. On Monday registration for The Texas Style Council Conference opened, and I began my job as community outreach manager and social media coordinator. I will be responsible for updating the blog, Twitter account (@TXstylecouncil), and Facebook page.

When I attended the conference last year I was a very, very new to blogging. I wanted to learn how to improve my content and most effectively use social media to find an audience. I was interested in meeting bloggers I admired and considered experts in their topics. And I was especially eager to network with other personal style bloggers and make connections I hoped to keep.

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the Texas Style Council was focused on creating genuine connections between the attendees and encouraging bloggers and brands to be the best version of of themselves, no matter how big or how small. I was impressed by how approachable each panel was, and how eager speakers were to answer questions and give advice. The three days I spent at the conference were by far the most fun-filled I've ever had.

The 2011 conference was praised for being "relatable, comfortable, and approachable" and it is my hope and intention that the 2012 conference retains its "girl next door" vibe. Instead of covering topics traditionally covered at blogger conferences, such as monetization, implementing ads, and methods to approaching sponsors, the Texas Style Council Conference will be focused on creating community, using blogs as a launching pad for greater goals, increasing inspiration and creativity, using social media in innovative ways, and being the best blogger or business you can be - no matter your size.

During the three days of this year's conference, two days will be dedicated to networking and meeting new people and brands, and one full day will be devoted to a social media symposium where bloggers and brands can learn new ways to connect with each other, their readers, companies, and customers.

The conference should be a place where all attendees can learn how to be inspired to create fresh and engaging content every day by gaining new tools. Ideally, these tools will help bloggers think and grow beyond their blog. Today, bloggers are finding success beyond their computers, whether as authors, speakers, social media experts or retail store owners. With a focus of thinking beyond the blog, there is no limit as to what we can accomplish.

The 2011 conference sold out within a week (!!!!). If you are thinking of coming to the 2012 conference, make sure you reserve your space before it is too late. And don't be shy - if you have a question or need some advice, drop me an email at dresswithcourage(at)gmail.com. I'd love to talk to you!

Simple style resolutions for 2012: What are yours?

2012-01-03T06:10:00.000-08:00

With a brand new year comes a brand new chance to be my most stylish self. At 37, I already have a pretty clear idea of what silhouettes work for me, and what trends are most comfortable to who I am and the lifestyle I lead. I'll never be the woman to wear six-inch stilettos, or floor-sweeping skirts, or thigh-high boots. So I've been working on a list of simple way to be my most stylish without making a major commitment.

Let my clothes motivate me: No mater what my goals are for the year in regards to fashion, a little style incentive will definitely encourage me to take more risks and try new trends. This not only includes purchasing pieces that are a bit outside my comfort zone, but also actually wearing the clothes I do own and forgoing saving them for special occasions.
Branch out: Not every day can involve taking a fashion risk, but why not step outside my comfort zone in just one or two ways? Bold floral pants, athletic notes, and bright pink suits are fashion trends predicted to break out in 2012. Thrifting makes it easy to experiment with new silhouettes without breaking the bank.
Stop impulse shopping: Too often I have been tempted to purchase something pretty, shiny or sparkly, only to realize upon arriving home that it is impractical, out of my budget, or not flattering to my body. Doing so is a complete waste of money, even if it only cost a few dollars at a thrift store.
Purge, reevaluate, and organize: It's time for a "take no prisoners" approach to editing my closet. If I haven't worn it in a year, or it doesn't fit, the piece is to be donated to my local Goodwill or Salvation Army. End of story. An organized closet will make it easier for me to see what I own and wear pieces that might otherwise have been neglected.
Get inspired: Image-centric sites such as Pinterest, Instagram (or Extragram on your PC or Mac), and Pose are the easiest way to get beauty, fashion, and even design inspiration. Magazines and catalogs such as that from J Crew, and the Madewell look book, are other great resources for outfit ideas.
Learn something new: I have the most fun, and feel the most energized, when doing research for my Thrifting 101 posts. Learning about the history of fashion or the life of a designer helps me understand the inspiration behind what is popular today. For a list of books regarding vintage, this post might help.
Splurge on some fantastic underthings: 2011 was the year I went for my first bra fitting and learned how important the correct size undergarments are. I also learned that a high-quality bra isn't cheap, and that you truly do get what you pay for. In the coming year I hope to expand my lingerie wardrobe with bras that are pretty as well as functional.
Have more fun! The biggest lesson I took from 2011 is that fashion is meant to be fun. Wearing sequins casually, piling on the costume jewelry, and throwing a vintage fur over jeans lets me face the world with a smile on my face.

What are your style resolutions for 2012?

Almost daily outfit of the day: M is for Missoni 1.2.12

2012-01-02T08:02:00.000-08:00

Missoni for Target sweater; thrifted American eagle thermal tee; thrifted J Crew skirt; vintage Frye boots (eBay); We Love Colors tights

When Target announced their collaboration with Missoni back in the summer, I was flummoxed. While I hadn't been especially impressed with previous Target collaborations, Missoni interested me. Their luxurious knits and sumptuous patterns are quintessentially Italian. Their clothes seemed appropriate for a quick jaunt to the Almafi coast in a vintage Porsche convertible with a tall, dark, overwhelmingly sophisticated Italian man who speaks little English and has impeccable manners, the kind of man who opens doors for you and calls you cara mia and smells like the inside of a Ferragamo boutique.

This cardigan is the softest, best knit sweater in my closet. It fits like a dream. And while it came neither with a sophisticated Italian man nor trip to the Almafi coast, I love it all the same.

On Sunday I Smile - Week in review 1.1.12

2012-01-01T10:17:00.000-08:00

On Sundays I review the past week and I Smile. I share these moments with you.

If you've ever watched Parks and Rec, you'll know of the little clip treat yo self. Treat yo self isn't just good for a laugh. It's a state of mind. It's about doing something nice for yourself, just because it feels good or it's fun or it makes you smile. This week I treated myself with these vintage Frye boots scored on eBay. They have a much slimmer cut than today's version of knee-high boots, and they'll be perfect with skirts and tights.

Reasons why I love living in Texas: 1) The weather. 2) The thrifting. 3) The weather. 4) Have I mentioned the weather? (You get my point.) This week brought unseasonably warm temperatures and the chance to spend some time hiking with my kids at a nearby nature preserve. It felt so good to be out in the sunshine.

Last Sunday I had the chance to go thrifting with Beth of the amazing blog Parsimonia {Secondhand With Style}, and she found me this vintage sleeveless sweater with crazy beaded and padded shoulders.Though it's a little Lady Gaga for my taste, I had to have it. Because when the thrifting gods bless you with a sleeveless sweater with beaded and padded shoulders, you can't say no.

Question: Why does food taste so much better when it's served from a hipster-owned food truck and eaten outdoors? I might never find a solution to this predicament, but my stomach will be happy as I try to understand it.

I think tulips are the happiest flower. They cheerfully hint of spring and stand so tall and proud and come in so many vibrant colors. No matter how dismal a mood I might be in, fresh flowers always make me happy. I wonder why I don't buy them more frequently. Do you keep fresh flowers in your house?

Now it's your turn: What are some things that made you smile this week? Grab my button (created by Kate of Kate The Geek - HUGE THANKS to Kate!) and blog about your Sunday smiles; share your weekly smiles in the comments; or smile just because it makes you feel good.

As I'm clomping around the house in my new boots, catch up on everything from Dress With Courage this week:

I shared a guest post I wrote for my friend Kyla of Blue Collar Catwalk on my twelve goals for 2012;
Wore a vintage red and gold sequined jacket for Christmas;
Talked about five things I always wanted for Hanukkah and never got (and still kind of want);
Avoided wearing jeans and dressed like a lady in a vintage Jordache blazer;
Continued my Thrifting 101 series with a post regarding deadstock vintage;
Posted a special extended preview clip of the new show Jane By Design, premiering this week;
Gave a list of goals and things I'm looking forward to in 2012 for Fashion Beauty Friend Friday;
and announced a winner of my blog anniversary giveaway - congrats to Gracie-Lou! You still have two days to claim your prize!

One blog mention this week:

Sal of Already Pretty included my post regarding deadstock vintage in her Lovely Links roundup for the week. Thank you so much, Sal!

And now I would like to take a moment and welcome all my new followers:

Blogiversary giveaway winner is...

2011-12-30T19:40:00.000-08:00

The winner of my one-year blog anniversary giveaway, featuring a $25 Marshalls/ TJ Maxx gift card and Urban Decay products is:

Gracie-Lou!

Gracie-Lou said...: Hi, I'm following you on GFC. Great giveaway!! Can I just say, I'm so happy you made the decision to start blogging! Your posts are always so insightful, and I always look forward to reading what you've written. http://lexi-and-button.blogspot.com

Thanks to everyone for entering!

Fashion Beauty Friend Friday: Resolutions

2011-12-30T08:19:00.000-08:00

This week, Fashion Beauty Friend Friday participants were asked to share their New Year's resolutions, whether they be blog or personal goals.

If you’re like a gazillion other people across the globe (or, maybe just America – not sure whether this kind of torment affects other countries), chances are you’ve said or thought at least one of the following statements at some point in the last few days:

“In 2012, I’m going to [lose weight/start exercising/quit smoking/get organized/dye my hair pink]”

“New Year’s resolutions? Um, no. Not into that.”

Truthfully, I'm not the biggest fan of New Year's resolutions. When a new year comes I typically avoid making them. I hate feeling pressured by a date on the calendar to make momentous changes to my life. I'm not a fan of the suggestion that there's something wrong with me if I don't declare resolutions when New Year's arrives. But mostly I despise feeling as if I have failed when I do not manage to make my resolutions come true.

So this year is different. This year I decided to make a list of things I am looking forward to in the upcoming year and goals that are realistic and achievable.

Elevate the ordinary to the extraordinary: This includes things such as wearing sequins to run errands, going to more concerts, drinking champagne during the week, eating dinner by candlelight, and treating myself to the occasional massage.
Spend more time outdoors: Yesterday I took my kids for a hike at a nearby nature preserve, and it opened my eyes to my love for being outdoors. I'd like to go for more hikes and picnics, brush the dust of my bicycle, and buy myself a pair of vintage or used roller skates.
Take more road trips: I went thrifting with a blogger friend recently and she mentioned how she and her husband take weekend road trips to visit estate sales, flea markets and thrift stores. I would love to start doing the same. I don't mind driving, and it'd be fun to explore other parts of the country.

Publish my book: Writing and publishing a book is a much longer process than I was prepared for. My book is currently being professionally edited. Within the next month, a cover will be designed; the book will be formatted; copies will be printed and an e-book edition made available. I'd love to host a book launch party in March to celebrate getting it finished.

Participate in the Texas Style Council Conference in March: I was recently hired as the community outreach manager and social media coordinator for the Texas Style Council Conference, and I could not be more thrilled to be involved. I had an amazing time at the conference last March and I'm so honored to be involved.

Write more for other blogs: Guest posting is a great way to become more involved in the blogging community and reach out to potential readers. It also helps me develop my writing voice even further. In January I'll be working as a featured contributor for the Blind Hem, an online magazine focused on intelligent writing about fashion, and I'm hopeful that it will open more doors for writing opportunities.

Avoid shopping new: At this point, my wardrobe is 85% thrifted. Ideally, I'll like it to be 100% composed of thrifted pieces, though I'm unsure if that's realistic, what with my reignited passion for shoes (though I'm considering purchasing vintage shoes from eBay and Etsy from now forward.)

Add more fun into my diet: My diet is healthy, but boring. I tend to eat the same things all the time. It doesn't help that I'm not the most comfortable cook. I'd like to add more variety into my diet and become more comfortable in the kitchen.

As alway, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments! Are you making New Year's resolutions this year? Do you avoid making resolutions?

Fashion Beauty Friend Friday was created by Katy Rose of Modly Chic. Become a member of the Fashion Beauty Friend Friday Google Group to join in the discussion!

Vogue Magazine promotion: Jane By Design sneak preview!

2011-12-29T15:22:00.000-08:00

I'm thrilled to announce that I'm working with Vogue Magazine to share special promotions geared towards my readers!

Vogue Magazine is pairing with "Jane By Design" a brand new show set to air on ABC Family Channel.

“Jane By Design” will make its world premiere on Tuesday, January 3, 9:00PM– 10:00PM ET/PT. “Jane By Design” follows Jane Quimby (Erica Dasher), a quirky teen with an eclectic chic fashion sense, who lands a job at a hip fashion house when they mistake her for an adult. Torn between her love of fashion and the need to finish high school, Jane conceals her true age to assist the demanding, but talented Gray Chandler Murray (Andie MacDowell), who travels the world in search of the next big style trend.

Jane quickly learns that working for a successful executive in the cutthroat world of fashion is not as glamorous as she once thought. But with help from her best friend Billy Nutter (Nicholas Roux), Jane tries to keep up appearances as she toggles between two lives and guard her secret. Even with Billy’s support, will Jane’s ruse be a passing fad, or will she be able to fashion a career in the design business?

A special two minute sneak preview of the show can be found here!

Thrifting 101: An introductory guide to deadstock vintage

2011-12-29T07:55:00.000-08:00

It happened to me last weekend.

It was Sunday night. I was browsing through the racks of one of my favorite thrift stores. It was getting late, and my mind kept wandering. I wondered what I would make for dinner that night. I considered whether I needed to do a load of laundry, or whether I could put it off until the next day. I thought about my New Year's Eve outfit, debating between a sequined blouse or mini dress. And what about my editorial calendar?

Just as I was about to give up on thrifting, my fingers brushed against something unmistakable - a rectangular merchandise tag dangling from a suede shirt. This was not just any shirt. No, this was a 1960's fringed and beaded black suede shirt, with a little packet of spare beads stapled to the tag.

I had stumbled upon deadstock.

What is deadstock?

Deadstock is a piece of vintage clothing at least twenty years old with its original tag still attached. Whether it was surplus inventory never put on display, overstock from a retail establishment or fashion brand that went out of business, obsolete inventory deemed unsuitable for sale, or an item from someone's estate, this piece has never been worn and it still, for all intents and purposes, new.

Traditionally, deadstock is defined as any stock that sits on a distributor's warehouse shelves, usually collecting dust, for a year or more. Retailers refer to deadstock as merchandise that cannot be sold. This type of product has never been worn, used or sold and has been in inventory for an extended period of time.

Deadstock earns its name from the fact that the design is "dead" from its original source. It might also be referred as NOS, short for "New Old Stock" or "Never Off The Shelf" by vintage dealers.

Why is deadstock so desirable?

As deadstock items are unworn, they serve as excellent specimens of fashion trends throughout time. Whether the deadstock is a 1930's feathered cloche, complete with original tissue paper, tag and hat box, or a southwestern print 1980's sweater with original tags attached, the item is just as it appeared when it originally went on sale.

Where can you find deadstock?

If you're lucky, you might find a piece of deadstock at a thrift store or estate sale. Deadstock vintage can also be found through dealers on eBay and Etsy, using the search terms 'deadstock' or 'NOS vintage'.

What should you do with your deadstock?

Whether you wear it, sell it, or save it, the choice of what to do with your deadstock is up to you! Depending on the piece, deadstock vintage can be much more valuable than the same item without tags. It makes sense to do your research before deciding whether to archive the item, market it to a vintage dealer or sell on Etsy or Ebay, or wear it.

Almost daily outfit of the day: Luck be a lady 12.28.11

2011-12-28T07:54:00.000-08:00

Vintage Jordache blazer from Hunt. Gather. Style; thrifted silk blouse; Gap Outlet trousers; Stuart Weitzman velvet flats; Bloom clutch

I tend to get stuck in a style rut this time of the year. This centers around the wearing of jeans five or more times a week, paired with either a cardigan, crewneck, or button-down with blazer. My sartorial laziness is most likely based on the following: Residual post-Christmas depression; burrowing as to avoid colder temperatures; and sheer laziness. So today I chose to challenge my winter inertia and dress like a lady. A lady would never wear jeans. Oh no. Ladies prefer tailored trousers, and perfectly applied red lipstick, and blazers with shoulder pads, and impractical clutches that hold little beyond a slim wallet and aformentioned red lipstick. I must admit that I felt prettier, and more pulled-together, in this outfit. My jeans might be calling to me from my closet, but a lady never yields.

Five things I always wanted for Hanukkah but never got (and still kind of want)

2011-12-27T08:13:00.000-08:00

I had a pretty decent childhood, as childhoods go. I can't recall being particularly in need of anything. But you remember that feeling of anticipation on Christmas morning (or in my case, Hanukkah eve) when you excitedly clawed the wrapping paper off a gift just to discover, with crushing disappointment, that said gift wasn't exactly what you were hoping for? Yeah, I was plenty familiar with that. To this day, there remains a list of things I desperately, passionately wanted for Hanukkah that I just never got, despite what I am sure was persistent and obnoxious begging.

So today, as I lounge around the house in a post-holiday haze, I'm sharing that list with you.

A Barbie Dream House: I loved Barbie. Frankly, I wanted to be Barbie, what with her endless wardrobe of shiny satin dresses that velcroed up the back and and permanent blue eyeshadow that swept to her eyebrows and perpetually perky smile. I wanted to zip around in Barbie's pink Corvette, and get escorted to parties by Ken. But mostly I wanted Barbie's Dream House. It had an elevator, and balconies, and a vanilla-scented kitchen where Barbie could prepare things like plastic cupcakes.

A pony: I wasn't a particularly athletic child. I was asthmatic, and chubby, and spent hours in my room reading Anne of Green Gables rather than playing soccer or softball or gymnastics or any of the myriad of sports my friends did. But I nursed deep, deep dreams of being an equestrian. I wanted my own horse more than anything in the world. I would name it Buttercup and feed it sugar cubes and essentially be exactly like Elizabeth Taylor in National Velvet.

A pool: As a kid, I wasn't friends with wealthy people. But I did watch Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, which featured fabulously wealthy and gorgeous people and their overdecorated California mansions, complete with swimming pools. My logic for wanting a swimming pool went like this: If I had a pool, I too would be fabulously wealthy and gorgeous. There. Logic. It makes sense.

Long shiny blonde hair: Basically, think Christy Brinkley, but without the serial marriages.

Roller skates: These days, children have birthday parties in places like private art studios and the club room at Rangers ballpark and indoor mountain climbing gyms. In my day, there was the roller rink. The roller rink smelled like sweat socks and played disco music on an endless loop. It was where you hung out with your friends and got your first kiss and ate soggy french fries. Those in the know brought their own roller skates with them. They were crafted from white leather with giant glittery rubber wheels. I, however, was a renter. To this day I long for those fancy roller skates, except mine would be pink. Or leopard.

Now I ask you: What are some things you wanted for Christmas (or Hanukkah) as a kid but never got and still kind of want?

Almost daily outfit of the day: When in doubt, wear sequins 12.26.11

2011-12-26T12:43:00.000-08:00

Thrifted vintage sequined jacket; thrifted Citizen of Humanity jeans; thrifted vintage 1940's Victorian blouse; Bruno Magli peep-toe wedges (TJ Maxx)

When I thrifted this 1960's red and gold sequined jacket back in the spring, I had no idea what occasion would call for it. One does not exactly wear red and gold sequins in normal, everyday life, unless you're someone theatrical and grandiose like Rachel Zoe and have a penchant for dramatic dressing during everyday occasions. Despite a lack of celebrity-infused fashion events and affected Californian accent, I too lean towards the dramatic, so I wore this jacket during my Christmas festivities yesterday, which included glamorous things like watching Elf and eating pie and sweeping errant shards of wrapping paper off the floor. Because if you're going to do Christmas right, it should include sequins. That's just a rule.

{Guest Post} Twelve goals for 2012

2011-12-26T11:18:00.000-08:00

Today I'm guest posting for the fantastic Kyla over at Blue Collar Catwalk, and sharing my twelve goals for 2012. I met Kyla at the Texas Style Council Conference back in March and was immediately struck by how friendly and approachable she was. She shares my love of thrifting and vintage and is a truly unique voice in the blogosphere.

Be sure to drop by Blue Collar Catwalk and share your goals for 2012!

On Sundays I Smile {Holiday edition} - Week in review 12.25.11

2011-12-25T09:28:00.000-08:00

On Sundays I review the past week and I Smile. I share these moments with you.

Hanukkah is extra-special this year because it coincides with Christmas. This means that our Christmas Eve dinner included latkes and brisket and jelly donuts and we were able to avoid the meal most Jews engage in on Christmas Eve - takeout Chinese food. Don't ask me why this is a thing...I have no idea.

I'm certain that this little gingerbread playhouse in Half Price Books was meant for children. But I couldn't help myself from going inside, pulling up a chair, and reading with my kids. And it was awesome.

With all of our family living in New York City, we rarely get to spend Christmas or Hanukkah with any of them, and we've grown accustomed to creating our own holiday traditions. However, I can't deny that I feel a little envious of friends that get to spend the holidays with their extended families. It doesn't hurt that our postman surprises us with deliveries in the days leading up to Christmas. Seeing those packages stacked under the tree definitely makes me smile.

Vintage sequins for last-minute shopping. Because there's no good reason why I shouldn't feel fancy while trying to decide whether my husband would prefer a gift card or bacon bouquet for a present (I went with bacon.)

Now it's your turn: What are some things that made you smile this week? Grab my button (created by Kate of Kate The Geek - HUGE THANKS to Kate!) and blog about your Sunday smiles; share your weekly smiles in the comments; or smile just because it makes you feel good.

While I'm picking up tiny shards of wrapping paper and helping my kids assemble their Christmas presents, catch up on everyhitng from Dress With Courage this week:

I shared a product review for Happy Scarf and wore a cute polka dot style;
Celebrated my one-year blog anniversary and shared a giveaway with you (there's still time to enter!);
Wore a new pair of thrifted J Brand jeans and took a break form holiday hysteria;
Introduced you to Jessica of Monster Cakes with her guest post about beating the winter blues;
and gave some advice for beating bloggers writer's block.

As always, thank you for supporting me by following my blog, continuing to leave thoughtful and introspective comments, and dropping by every day. I am so appreciative that you are here.

If you're visiting my blog for the first time, please think about following me through Google Friend Connect, and tweeting with me on Twitter (@dresscourage). You can also follow me on Pinterest and Instagram under Dresscourage and on Facebook.

Blogging through writer's block

2011-12-23T08:09:00.000-08:00

There comes a point in every blogger's life where she (or he) is left unexpectedly agape, staring at the computer screen, with absolutely nothing to say. A landscape that once overflowed with bright reflections on an outfit or quirky statements regarding fashion had now become as dry and bleak as a desert landscape.

I love to write. I love brainstorming topics for blog posts. I love doing research and highlighting important points I want to explore. I love the click click click sound of my fingers excitedly running over my keyboard, typing furiously on a post I am hopeful will spurn interesting comments and conversation. I even enjoy those stressful moments when I'm not entirely sure how a post will come together. I accidentally discovered my love of writing as a high school freshman, when my unconventional English teacher encouraged us to free write in between assignments. Those ungraded essays introduced me to the satisfaction of finding the perfect word and exploring a writing style that was outlandishly descriptive. I loved those essays. I could write about anything, and I did.

Whether they jot down a couple of sentences or compose lengthy 1000 word posts, bloggers are writers. As such, many have trouble with writer's block at one point or another. There are a myriad of reasons behind this problem: Anxiety, the pressure to produce a "perfect" post, lack of inspiration, a life change. However, 99% of the time writer’s block is nothing more than fear. You’re afraid you’re out of ideas. You’re afraid your best work is behind you. You’re afraid that you’re a phony. You’re afraid of failure. You’re afraid you’re not the genius you wanted to be when you started.

Writer's block strikes me once every few months. During those moments, I feel hopelessly frustrated and confused. What happened? Where did my words go? My brain feels cramped and about as useful as a paper weight. The blinking cursor on my laptop seems to mock me with every flash. I feel ruined.

During the past year, I've developed a couple of techniques for dealing with writer's block. Each one has helped me at one point or another, and I thought it would be useful to share them with you.

Implement a writing schedule: Every day, between eight and ten in the morning, I get on my laptop and I write. I ignore my writer's block and just jot down whatever is in my head - whether it's about fashion, or body image, or what I'm wearing. Bringing my fingers to the keyboard at the same time every day never fails to encourage me to post.
Carry around a notebook: The best way to stay inspired is to consistently jot down ideas for posts as they come. Whether you use a notes app on your phone or an actual notepad, recording post ideas creates an archive of topics to draw from.
Take some time off: Writer's block is frequently your body's way of telling you that you need a break to gather material and take the pressure of of posting. Time off from blogging might be all you need to become inspired to post again.

{Guest Post} Smiling through winter by Jessica of Monster Cakes

2011-12-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

Today I'm featuring a guest post from one of my favorite bloggers, Jessica from Monster Cakes. I stumbled onto her blog months ago and it quickly became one of my favorites. Not only is Jessica stylish, personable and funny, but she's also a tremendously talented writer. Her Wednesday Smiles posts are the inspiration behind my own. I am sure you will love her as much as I do!

Hello hello new friends! My name is Jessica and I blog over at Monster Cakes. Something you must know about me: I'm a winter girl at heart. I loathe the summer. My vampire-esque skin burns in sunlight. It snowed on my wedding day (it was perfect). I wear SPF all year long. I own more tights and scarves than I do shirts, dresses, and skirts combined. I don't "do" iced coffee. I get depressed during the summer and feel most in my element when it rains.

Most people find this a wee bit odd, but it's my favorite thing about being me. Lately I've been trying to channel my abnormal winter powers by cheering up those around me who aren't as partial to the cold months as I am! So my summer friends, allow me to send some of my winter smiles your way.

TIP:

The trick is to focus on the beauty. The positive. The daily treats that winter throws your way. Make a list! Seriously! Once you start to notice all the loveliness that winter offers, you won't have time to think about your frosted car windows, your frozen toes, and your sun-deprived skin.

My current winter love list:

+ hot coco dates with friends and loved ones

+ Starbucks holiday cups

+ falling asleep to the sound of rain against the window

+ watching puppies play in the snow

+ justifying pajamas at 5PM because it's already dark

+ feeding my belly with hearty soups and stews

+ enjoying extra doses of holiday treats w/out guilt

+ Sees candy's seasonal flavored truffles

+ witnessing the beauty that is foggy mornings and snow capped mountains

+ the way the rain puts me in a writing mood and gets my creative juices flowing

+ watching the sun glitter off grass blanketed with frost

+ feeling the most Oregonian in my winter staple: plaid button ups

+ listening to Christmas music... between the months of October and February

+ hand warmers that rock your world

+ utilizing my absolute favorite accessory: scarves

+ busting out my darker shades of nail polish

+ pumpkin spice candles

+ not shaving my legs ~~ever~~ as often

+ stealing husband's socks because they are always warmer

+ roasting mellows in fireplaces

+ cutting out snowflakes by hand

+ serene winter playlists (see my recent fave here)

+ getting up a little earlier to enjoy my coffee while I watch the sun come up

So friends. What's on your list?

xo

Almost daily outfit of the day: Holiday hysteria 12.21.11

2011-12-21T08:19:00.000-08:00

Lucky Brand jacket; thrifted Target blouse; thrifted J Brand jeans; Dolce Vita ankle boots

The week before Christmas marks the official start of winter break for my kids. This means that they're home from school for two weeks, and I am subjected to conversations such as the following:

Jake: MOM! DID YOU SEE THAT COMMERCIAL FOR THE SKYLANDERS WII GAME ON TV???!!! OH MY GOD MOM I WANT THAT FOR CHRISTMAS SO BAD!

Josh: I WANT THAT TOO! Mom, we've been so good this year, we only got in trouble that one time we spilled water all over your laptop and it got broken.

Jake: But then you got a new laptop so it was totally okay.

Josh: And MOM! MOM! MOM! Mom, are you listening? Mom, don't forget I REALLY REALLY REALLY want that Bakugan set, you know the one Mom, it was SO COOL!

Me: (Reaching for the Advil.) Boys, Santa will be here in just four days. Christmas is going to be great. Let's talk about something else for a change, okay?

*Extended silence.*

Jake: How many minutes to Christmas Mom? Like exactly how many? Because I HAVE TO KNOW.

You can understand my need for both a steady amount of patience and an arsenal of simple outfits this week. These thrifted J Brand jeans might be the best score I've made all year, convincing me that Santa works in mysterious ways.

One year later (and a giveaway!)

2011-12-20T08:08:00.000-08:00

One year ago, I was living here in the north Dallas suburbs with my husband and kids. We had relocated to the area from Des Moines, Iowa, and I was attempting to find my footing in my new neighborhood. I had a few friends in the area, women I had kept in touch with before our relocation, but I couldn't help but feel that something was missing. I loved to thrift, and write, and wanted to challenge myself to do something I'd never done before. So I decided to start a blog.

February 2011

I had no idea then what I'd put into motion. Slowly, through the months that followed, my life started to change. I began to feel more confident. I became more courageous with every outfit I posted. I found myself questioning why I dressed the way I did, why I shopped where I had, and what I really thought about personal style and body image. I started to allow myself to write, really write, more than a few sentences about where my jeans were from.

June 2011

Eventually, I starting submitting my posts to IFB, and they were accepted into Links a la Mode. I joined a local blogger's meetup and connected with women who share similar interests as I do. I started commenting on blogs I read regularly, and became friends with those bloggers I admired. I learned from them. In March 2011 I attended my first blogging conference, the Texas Style Council Conference, and met bloggers I only dreamed of socializing with. I began to get invited to fashion events around Dallas and made connections with brands. I continued to submit articles to IFB and attended their conference in September, where I learned more about the importance of social media and blogging and began to consider monetization. Oh - and I also wrote a book, which is in the final editing phase and should be published by the end of January.

Julie, Erin, me and Tina at the Texas Style Council Conference

The truth is that putting yourself out there comes with both blessings and pitfalls. When my blog really began taking off this summer, it attracted attention - most good but some negative. No matter what I do, say or wear, there will still be some people who won't like it. There will be people who hate what I wear, or think I talk about my eating disorder recovery too much, or write posts that are too long, or don't share enough outfit of the day pics. This criticism is part of living my life in the public eye. Criticism never feels great, but I accept it and am sometimes able to view it as a learning opportunity.

August 2011

There's a lot to be said about following your dreams and watching them come true. The work put towards making those dreams a reality isn't easy, but it is so worth it. Don't get me wrong - I still have days when I struggle to find inspiration. I don't always feel great about how I look. But I have a much more positive outlook than I've ever had.

October 2011

In the next year I hope to continue feeling as inspired to post as I am now. I want to learn more about blog design, stay educated on social media, and become more involved in the Dallas-Fort Worth fashion scene. I want to reach out more to bloggers I admire. I'm going to publish my book and want to host a fantastic launch party (stay tuned for details on that!) I was just hired as the community outreach and social media coordinator for the Texas Style Council Conference, scheduled for March 9, 10 and 11th, and I'll be extra busy with planning. I want to offer more guest posts from bloggers who inspire me, and continue sharing my passion for thrifting.

To celebrate my one-year blog anniversary, I'm offering a very special giveaway containing some of my favorite swag from the Independent Fashion Bloggers Conference.

The winner will receive:

An Urban Decay Foxy palette, complete with four neutral shadows, a cream eyeliner, and a mini lip gloss;
An Urban Decay Stardust lip gloss in Space Cowboy, a sparkly neutral color;
A travel size Amika straightening iron with carrying case.

The winner will also receive:

A $25 gift card to TJ Maxx or Marshalls!

To enter, simply do the following:

Follow me on Google Friend Connect.
For extra entries, follow me on Twitter (@dresscourage) and add my blog to your reader.

This giveaway is open to US residents only. Please leave a separate comment for each entry, and be sure to include your email address so I can contact you if you win. Giveaway ends on December 28th! Good luck!

Product review: Polka dots from Happy Scarf!

2011-12-19T07:23:00.000-08:00

Thrifted cardigan; thrifted Michael Stars long-sleeved tee; thrifted J Crew skirt; We Love Colors tights; Kate Spade boots (TJ Maxx)

Last week, Happy Scarf sent me two scarves to wear and review. I don't think I've ever incorporated a scarf into an outfit photo here on my blog, but trust me when I say I'm a big fan. When winter comes I seem to get a permanent chill in my bones, and winding a scarf around my neck is an easy, stylish way to keep warm.

I chose this fun polka-dot mimic cashmere scarf for my outfit photos and could not have been more pleased. It truly is as soft and cozy as cashmere, and when paired with a long-sleeved tee and cardigan kept me warm. For $12, this scarf is a great alternative to budget-breaking genuine cashmere versions. I also received a black and white skull scarf, which was much thinner and more lightweight than the polka dot, and better suited for warmer months.

Happy Scarf offers free shopping on purchases and returns every day of the year, and 20% off all new styles. I would definitely recommend their products. A new scarf would make a great holiday gift!

Disclaimer: I received two free scarves from Happy Scarf for this product review. I was not compensated for this review, and all opinions are my own.

On Sundays I Smile - Week in review December 18th

2011-12-18T08:16:00.000-08:00

On Sundays I review the past week and I Smile. I share these moments with you.

I'm coming down with a cold, so I've decided to self-medicate with bowls of clementines, hoping a massive dose of natural vitamin C will chase the germs away. Clementines are the perfect snack. They're so happy looking nestled in a bowl, and taste like summer.

My children had their holiday parties at school this week. Simply put, holiday parties are an excuse for the kids to watch movies and eat cookies and wear their pajamas to school and give their teachers presents, typically things like Starbucks gift cards and mugs with pencils on them. We got to make this cheeky little Santa foam ornament which took a surprisingly amount of glue and patience to construct.

My daughter and husband left for a five day trip to NYC this week, to visit our family and eat bagels and see the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree and gallivant through the city. I ain't gonna lie - I'm out of my mind with jealousy. I can't help it. I am a horrible horrible person. I want to be the one going to NYC. I want to shop and eat in Little Italy and see family and take touristy photos of things like the lights in Times Square. But I'm thrilled for my daughter. Really.

To alleviate my despair over not going to NYC, I went to the mall. Because in my opinion there are few better ways to self-soothe than take in some holiday shopping at the mall. I'm kind of shallow like that. There was this display of holiday clutches in Bendel's that made me swoon. Hello, pretty little leopard clutch. You will be mine. Oh yes you will.

Now it's your turn: What are some things that made you smile this week? Grab my button (created by Kate of Kate The Geek - HUGE THANKS to Kate!) and blog about your Sunday smiles; share your weekly smiles in the comments; or smile just because it makes you feel good.

While I'm nibbling on clementines, catch up on everything from Dress With Courage this week:

I wore a vintage Woolworth's cardigan and fretted over a sick child;
Examined the the big deal about small talk, and gave some tips for surviving it at a holiday party;
Participated in this months' Everybody Everywear sequin and sparkle theme with a gold vintage sweater;
Continued my Thrifting 101 series with a post regarding thrifting for holiday presents - would you ever buy a gift at a thrift store?
and filled out a holiday quiz for Fashion Beauty Friend Friday.

Fashion Beauty Friend Friday: Holiday quiz

2011-12-16T11:13:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe that are only nine days until Christmas. Because of my husband's busy travel schedule, we only just decorated our tree last night, and I have most of my Christmas shopping list left to plow through. This week for Fashion Beauty Friend Friday, we're offering snippets of thoughts on holiday related topics.

No holiday party is complete without: Christmas cookies.

My favorite Christmas song/album: I vacillate between Handel's Messiah and Tori Amos' Midwinter Graces album.

My favorite seasonal recipe: Latkes. Oh so good.

The perfect New Year's Eve outfit includes: Sequins, of course!

At the parties, I'll be drinking: I'm a whiskey girl, but during the holidays I like to indulge in a glass or two of champagne. It always makes me feel festive.

Eggnog, good or bad? Bad. Very bad.

Did you ever take pictures on Santa's lap at the mall? I was raised in a conservatively Jewish household, so Santa, Christmas trees, and anything Christmas-related was a no-no.

Gingerbread Latte or Peppermint Mocha: Neither - hot caramel apple cider.

Worst gift I ever got: I can't remember getting a bad gift!

Best gift I ever received: One memorable year my husband bought me a Kitchenaid stand mixer that I'd been hinting for. That might seem weird, a mixer being my best gift. But that mixer has proved to be the most useful present I've ever received.

My family has this weird tradition: I'm not sure it's weird, but my family celebrates both Hanukkah and Christmas so we do an interesting, eclectic blend of traditions from both. We watch Christmas movies and decorate a Christmas tree and open presents on Christmas morning, but we also light a menorah and tell the Hanukkah story and make brisket and latkes and give our chocolate gelt.

My best bargain find for a gift this year: I bought nearly all my holiday decor from thrift stores this year. It was really fun and saved me a ton of money.

If I could only buy all my gifts from one place, I'd shop at: Target.

Rudolph the Red-nose Reindeer or Frosty the Snowman: Definitely Rudolf.

My favorite holiday memory: My childhood Hanukkah dinners and gift exchange with my grandparents, cousins and aunt and uncle. There was always a lot of laughter, silliness and joy.

My favorite Christmas movie: Elf. Mostly because of this scene. And this one too. I also love watching A Nightmare Before Christmas because the music is so good.

The best part about holiday decorations is: Our collection of ornaments that we've accumulated over the years. I'm partial to the ones my kids made when they were in preschool. So sweet.

Rip off the wrapping paper or neatly pull off the tape: Rip that crap off.

Miracle on 34th Street or It's a Wonderful Life: Miracle on 34th Street, mostly because it reminds me of Christmas in New York City.

It doesn't feel like the holiday season until: I unearth our holiday decorations from the garage.

All I want for Christmas is: A relaxed, stress-free couple of days home with my family. Simple enough.

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. What's your favorite Christmas movie? What's the best present you've ever received? Any special traditions you share with your family?

Fashion Beauty Friend Friday was created by Katy Rose of Modly Chic. Become a member of the Fashion Beauty Friend Friday Google Group to join in the discussion!

Thrifting 101: It's beginning to look a lot like Thriftmas

2011-12-15T07:30:00.000-08:00

As the holidays approach, most people are hurriedly emptying their wallets looking for the perfect gift. There's so much pressure to find the latest, newest, trendiest item, and give our friends and family a present they'll remember for years to come. However, while you're running from mall store to mall store, you might want to consider a different option - thrifting for a holiday gift. Doing so guarantees you'll find something unique, even possibly one-of-kind. It's also a great way to let your recipient know you put in extra effort to give them a memorable present.

There are a couple of ways to approach thrifting for a gift. The most important thing, however, is to know your recipient. There are some people who just aren't going to embrace receiving something from a thrift store, no matter what it is. They are much more comfortable with a new item, packaged and returnable. Obviously, a thrifted gift is going to be unsuitable for them, so it's better to leave them off your thrift score list.

One way to look at holiday thrifting is to use thrift store finds to supplement other gifts. For example, cookbooks found in a thrift store can be packaged with a new cookware set from a department store. If you have a friend who enjoys cooking, a season thrifted cast iron skillet would pair wonderfully with gourmet flavored oils and utensils. For the jewelry lover, a vintage pair of earrings or pin combined with a gift card to a boutique makes an unusual, memorable gift.

Another approach is to repurpose thrifted items to create something new. My local Goodwill is overloaded with fabric, and a skilled sewer could utilize it for curtains, sewing and crafts. Old frames could be sanded down and painted; sweaters mended; lamp bases and shades repainted and repaired; and furniture can be refinished.

Of course, there are great finds to be discovered at thrift stores if you're looking for a ready-to-go gift.

Records: most thrift stores are loaded with crates of records, ranging for classical to holiday music to pop. If you have a music lover in your life, thrifting for records is a surefire way to thrill them.
Glassware: Packaged beautifully, vases, wine and champagne glasses make pretty gifts. Collectors might also appreciate shot glasses.
Books: I can't think of a better source for books than thrift stores. Hardcover and paperbacks are typically priced anywhere from fifty cents to two dollars. From cookbooks to religious volumes to best selling fiction, it's all there.
Holiday decor: Looking for ornaments, dishware and mugs, and decorative items? Thrift stores are overwhelmed with these items at this time of the year.
Accessories: I've had great luck finding authentic vintage Coach bags at thrift stores. Charity-based stores, such as St. Vincent De Paul, occasionally carry designer jewelry such as Michael Kors and Fossil watches, along with purses, scarves, belts and wallets.

Have you ever thrifted a holiday gift? D you have any ideas for thrift store finds that would make for great presents? Share in the comments!

Everybody, Everywear: Sequins and sparkle

2011-12-13T14:43:00.000-08:00

Vintage thrifted dolman-sleeve sweater; vintage thrifted skirt; We Love Colors tights; Urban Outfitters boots; earrings from some little boutique in Dallas; Michael Kors rose gold watch

I was thrifting last week in a dusty little Goodwill when I discovered this sweater, tucked into a rack of snap-front western shirts and 80's mock turtlenecks. As soon as I dug it out, I knew we were meant to be together. You see, I have a strange affinity for sequined, sparkly, and glittery vintage tops. We're kind of a thing. When I wear one, I like to imagine I'm a young starlet on the set of some eighties soap like Dynasty. As such, I'd sail through each episode in sequined evening gowns and a cloud of Dior Poison. I'd craft elaborate schemes to destroy my enemies and survive kidnapping attempts with nary a lacquored hair out of place. Sure, I'd have no real reason to be costumed in rhinestones and sequins. But I would, because it's the eighties and that's what eighties starlets did.

This sweater is all eighties glitz and glam - chenille woven with gold thread. It's kind of perfect.

The big deal about small talk

2011-12-13T06:34:00.000-08:00

Have you ever lingered in your car or played games on your cell phone or stared intently at a tray of appetizers for the specific purpose of avoiding small talk at a party? I have. I think we all fear the awkward silence that sometimes comes with making small talk with a stranger. Whether you're at a wedding, work event, or holiday shindig, the pressure to be a sparkling conversationalist can leave even the most confident of us cowering.

Every year, my husband gets invited to a holiday work party. And every year I dread going. After twelve years of attending these kinds of functions, you'd think I've gotten better at managing the anxiety I experience before going. But I haven't. I live in terror of getting stuck next to some conversational genius and not having anything interesting to contribute. Small talk makes me nervous and turns me into a sweaty, babbling idiot. My mind races with crash-and-burn scenarios. What if I become tongue-tied and awkward, and the person I'm attempting to speak with thinks I'm boring? What if I can't find anything worthwhile to contribute and our conversation dissolves into a tediously painful exercise marked by comments on the weather? I would rather wander around the room faking interest in potted plants than suffer through this.

Small talk is often seen as meaningless conversation motivated by social politeness. You do it because that’s the proper thing and you have no choice. If you're extroverted, you can probably be planted in any social situation and get the small talk started without too much pain. If you're introverted, however, holiday parties and other events with strangers will make you cringe.

Thankfully, I've come up with a number of strategies to help make small talk more palatable. While these won't completely remove the terror from the situation, they'll help make you feel a bit more comfortable should you find yourself facing an unavoidable conversation with a stranger.

Ask questions: People, for the most part, love to talk about themselves. Asking someone questions allows you to steer the conversation towards whatever direction you're comfortable with. It also allows you to avoid certain dicey topics that are likely to cause awkward moments. Asking someone where they're from, places they've traveled, plans for the weekend, favorite stores, or hobbies will put you both at ease and could lead to some interesting stores.
Bring up something you'd like to talk about: Have you been curious about that latest Anne Hathaway movie? Wondering what someone else is reading? What's your guilty pleasure TV show? A conversation about something fun and interesting can often turn into something more.
Be a good listener: Nod and use other nonverbal listening cues to indicate to the other person that you're actively engaged in the conversation. A little encouragement goes a long way.
Avoid potentially volatile topics: Politics, religion, money, personal details - just don't go there. You also might want to avoid trite discussion about the weather and the spelling of someone's name (I get this a lot.)
See it through a positive lens: Small talk is a great way to make personal connections with relatively little effort. What we might think of as tedious chatter is actually a wonderful way to both socialize and network with influential people.

Do you struggle with making small talk? How do you handle it? Got any tips or tricks to help turn conversations with strangers into meaningful connections?