Let's talk about new beginnings.



I was building Legos with one of my twins the other day. It was cold and dreary out, the kind of afternoon where you just want to hibernate in your sweats. We were making vehicles and forts and secret laboratories with hidden doors that slid open. As we constructed, we chatted, in the easy way you do with a nine year-old.

"You know why I like playing with Legos?" he asked.
"Why?" I questioned.
He grinned. "Because you're only limited by your imagination. And your imagination has no limits!"

In the last month I've gotten divorced. I packed up fifteen years worth of clothes, photo albums, dishes, and furniture into cardboard boxes that towered above me. I lost the house I was prepared to close on, a house I had put two months of bidding, paperwork, and repairs into but unexpectedly lacked a clear title. I had a 24 hour breakdown notable for its emphatic crying. I pulled myself together, found an apartment, signed a six month lease, hired movers and left.

Truthfully, I've never been happier. That might sound like an insensitive thing to say after the demise of a fifteen year marriage. But I love living as a single woman.. I love knowing exactly where my money is and where it's going. I love the quiet moments, when all I hear is the quiet murmur of my children playing in their room. I love decorating my apartment in a way I find pleasing, rather to someone else's taste. Surprisingly, while I'm living alone, I never feel lonely, which was a feeling that chased me throughout much of my marriage. Now that I'm single, I feel completely unencumbered, and hopeful, and free to chase whatever dreams I wasn't able to explore before.

Life is unpredictable. If you had told me when I started blogging two years ago that I'd end up divorced, I never would have believed you. If you had told me that I'd write a book about thrifting and land a job working in a vintage store, I'd thought you were out of your mind. I'm incredibly proud of myself for refusing to stay miserable, for having the strength to change my life, for chasing my dreams and ending the self-victimizing cycle I've subjected myself to for most of my adult life.

I'm thirty-eight years old, and feel more positive than I ever have.

So what's to come in 2013? For the first time in my life, I'm letting myself imagine and construct some substantial plans. I want to make new friends, and reach out more to old ones - actions I'm not completely comfortable with but need to be done. I want to redesign this blog and focus more on thrifting, vintage, and slice-of-life stuff. (I'm not sure outfit posts will continue to be included - do you want them to be? Do you enjoy seeing me style my thrift scores? Let me know!) I will open a brick-and-mortar or mobile vintage shop (this I'm promising to myself.) I want to explore more of Texas and the southwest. I want to love, and experience being loved in the way we all deserve - fully, respectfully, appreciatively. I want to reach out to you more, my faithful readers, for advice and friendship. I want to eat really good food and listen to good music and keep a plant alive without killing it a week after purchase. Mostly, I want to prove to myself that I'm stronger than I ever gave myself credit for.

2013 is going to be epic.



21 comments:

  1. Yay! You're back! So glad. Yes, I do enjoy seeing the outfit posts (I need all the ideas I can get). I also approve of the slice-of-life aspiration. But most especially, I applaud the energized, hopeful, bouyant, exciting, open, brave and bright tone of this simultanesouly inspiring and down-to-earth post. Happy New Year!

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    1. Thank you for the supportive comment Marsha! I'm glad you're here. Happy New Year to you!

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  2. Good for you! You're in my thoughts. Being alone allows us to let go with imagination. I'm loving it!

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  3. Yay can't wait to visit the store. :o)

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  4. Glad you are in a better place mentally and physically. And yes, of course we wanna see you style your thrift scores:)

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    1. Thanks Jentine! I just thrifted a vintage kimono that made me think of you. Any interest? I'll send it your way!

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  5. Glad to see you back on the blog and admiring your positive thoughts! To answer your question, yes I enjoyed your thrifty stylings and would enjoy seeing more outfit posts.
    When you say alone- are your kids with you at the apartment at all?

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    1. Hi Jessica! My kids are with me part time - my ex and I have joint custody. Thankfully our divorce was extremely amicable and we're focused on making this transition as sooth as possible. I really appreciate your support and kind words!

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  6. Reading this put a smile on my face. Yay Elissa! Your bliss is there and you're getting closer! Happy, brave 2013!

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  7. So happy to see your post! I am still going through my divorce and it's been a process, even though we are agreeing to everything. I'm not as established like yourself though. I'm about to be 28 and completely starting over and have to have so much help. It's embarrassing. However, I agree too that I am happy as well. I hope 2013 is a great year for you! You have so much to live and strive for and you seem to be very driven! Maybe I'll bump into you around town. If so, I hope to see a smile on your face! Happy New Year!

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  8. Elissa, I wish you luck and happiness this year! Of course I want to see more thrift scores (and pieces of life, too). Let me know if you're ever in my side of Texas. xo

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  9. Elissa, I wish you luck and happiness this year! Of course I want to see more thrift scores (and pieces of life, too). Let me know if you're ever in my side of Texas. xo

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  10. ...Can I say "you go girl"? Do people still say that? I'm so glad you've found peace, and I can't wait to see what comes from it. As a fellow thrifter, I always enjoy seeing how you work your finds into an outfit, but I love the idea of opening up the content to include some other reflections as well. This all sounds like good, good stuff. Happy 2013! - Julie

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  11. To steal a term from Karen of Chookooloonks, may you have a year of badassery!

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  12. To steal a term from Karen of Chookooloonks, may you have a year of badassery!

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  13. i'm glad that you're in a better space, elissa. i like your outfit posts, but really i'm looking forward to reading whatever you decide to post. happy new year!

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  14. Wisdom from the mouth of a child. Priceless. I wish you the best on your new journey. I am sure it will have ups and downs, but it is your journey on your terms. Bravo.
    I love to see fabulous thrift finds and how people put them together to make wonderful outfits that look anything but thrifted.
    I have always enjoyed reading your blog.

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  15. I am so happy to hear you're feeling better and looking to the future. It's so hard to tell people going thru the awful part of the divorce that they really will feel better- much better- once it's all over, and it's such a relief when they finally do. I remember waking up with a sense of joy- no more feeling oppressed, no more feeling stressed out, no more squashing who I was to please someone else... Yay! Okay, went off about myself... I just feel really happy you have arrived in the good place. Wishing you all the best for 2013!

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  16. I am SO GLAD to see you back again, and in such good form. I am a daily reader of your blog (can't even remember how I found you in the first place!) and have been so worried about you and your family. Best wishes and much good luck with your new and IMPROVED life! Donna C.

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  17. This made me very happy! I have really missed your posts. You are a beautiful writer and I'm glad to know that you are in a better place. I'm sure 2013 holds lots of awesome things for you.

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