Procrastination, or things I would rather be doing right now.

Confession: I have started and scrapped this post about 62789162 times. I've cowardly blamed it on writer's block -  the lack of inspiration to write and resulting crippling frustration that leaves many writers cowering underneath their desks. But I'd be lying. No, I'm not struggling with that. What I have is blogger's procrastination. Blogger's procrastination means you have a ton of amazing ideas and personal outfit pics, and a willing audience waiting to read them, but you lack the fortitude to collect them. The mere act of putting words down seems overwhelmingly tedious and irritating. Instead, you bide your time doing things you might normally ignore but suddenly consume you.

For example, here is a list of things I would rather be doing right now than writing this post:
 
  • Taking a nap: The other day, I had this intense three-hour meeting with my pillow. That's what I'm calling naps from now on. There are few things more glorious than climbing into bed during the day and dozing off. And naps are one of the things you always want to do when you're procrastinating.
  • Reading magazines: My face is usually buried in a novel or 4000 page opus regarding the science behind why we buy what we do. But my brain craves the literary candy that is fashion magazines. Submerging myself in an opulent photoshoot centered around a $42,000 Chanel watch with diamonds and a black satin strap is my happy fantasy place.
  • Pinning stuff on Pinterest: It's ridiculously easy to fall down the Pinterest rabbit hole (find me at Elissa Stern) and nearly impossible to climb out. For example, let's say you're considering a post regarding leopard accessories. Leopard is hot for fall, amirite? So you pin leopard flats, and leopard scarves, and leopard short wedge boots..and knee high boots, and boots with tights and wool shorts, and wool shorts with cardigans, and cardigans, and OH MY GOD IT'S TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING I NEED A SUPPORT GROUP.
  • Looking at pictures of Jeffrey Dean Morgan.



    Here is a perfectly logical statement: If I am truly meant to stop procrastinating, God would stop putting photos of Jeffrey Dean Morgan on the internet. There. Logic. It makes sense.
    • Thinking about what I'm going to have for dinner: I am not a foodie. I could never write passionate diatribes on the benefits of gluten-free cupcakes and the different varieties of sea salt. And yet I'll find myself halfway through my typical breakfast of 1/2 banana, handful of Cracklin' Oat Bran and 16 M&M's and already be contemplating dinner. More specifically, how I can avoid making dinner, because I hate to cook. There, I said it. I'm a 37 year-old stay at home mom and I hate to cook.
    • Looking a houses at Realtor.com: Tell me I'm the only one who does this. I'm perfectly happy with my own house. I like living here. Yet I sometimes find myself browsing houses - no, 10,000 square foot mansions - filled with luxurious appointments like private elevators and wine cellars and summer kitchens and cathedral wood-beamed ceilings.  I like to imagine myself living in one of these monstrosities - planting succulents in my greenhouse, swimming in my saltwater heated pool, organizing books in my oak-paneled library.
    • Refreshing my Twitter feed to see if anyone responded to or retweeted my last tweet: I didn't have a ton of friends growing up. What this means is that, as an adult, I seek validation in how people respond to my tweets. What if I tweet about how listening to Bon Iver always makes me want to wear a lot of velvet and adopt a fawn, and no one retweets it? Then I am nobody! I end up deleting said tweet and pouting for half an hour about how nobody gets my sense of humor.
    I shouldn't feel despondent about not being retweeted. In fact, I shouldn't be doing ay of these things at all. Life is too short to waste it oogling million dollar mansions and complaining about blogging. You know what would be better than doing these things? Writing about doing these things. That way, at least something would get done. And look, it did.

    Are you a procrastinator? What time-sucking activities do you engage in while procrastinating?



      10 comments:

      1. Can I just say how endlessly happy I am that you wrote this? Because I am. Sigh. I have not been on twitter for over a month now because I'm avoiding. Overwhelmed with keeping up, so I'm putting off. Not really kept up with my blog like a good blogger should, and I feel guilty about it. What am I doing instead? Browsing vacation rental sites, facebook stalking, pinning on pinterest, playing doodle jump and angry birds, reading Country Living, eating. You know...procrastinating! I'm so glad I'm not the only one!!

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      2. You're my hero! This post was perfect, completely everything I feel about that Blogger Procrastination thing. Thanks for that. And for JDM, who will now have me transfixed and force me to keep this post open all day to refer back to. Bad for my procrastination, good for your stats. There ya go.

        I sometimes find myself browsing houses - no, 10,000 square foot mansions
        I DO THIS, TOO. I go through FrontDoor.com and browse their epic house slideshows, like there's one on there today called Old World Castles? And my favorite was one called Real Life Dollhouses that was all these massive Victorian mansions. I sometimes save pictures of my favorites to my hard drive. I'm fully aware that this may not be normal behavior and I think I'm okay with that.

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      3. I procrastinate by leaving comments on blogs :-)

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      4. I'm a huge procrastinator. I blame Scarlett O'Hara and her swoony "After all, tomorrow is another day!" I need a zillion things *with due dates* to do. Otherwise I always tell myself it's totally fine to push it off. Haha.

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      5. You're not alone. I find myself browsing houses in England all the time. I would love to live there, but I doubt it will happen since Hubs won't fly. Unless I can hire the A-Team to knock him out and put him on a plane, I'm staying in CA.

        Also, ogling JDM is great way to spend your time.

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      6. My worst procrastination device when I should be blogging is crossword puzzles. It's such a time suck and I can spend hours going back in the archives to find more. I think it's a sickness.

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      7. Yeah, the reading definitely gets me! And reading everybody else's blogs!

        Enjoyable post!

        Emily
        www.softexplosions.blogspot.com

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      8. Why did I immediately start licking my lips at these pics of JDM? Yes, I give the hot ones nicknames.

        P.S...Pinterest is so addictive!

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      9. Pintrest rabbit hole is the perfect way to describe it. Holy crap, I can spend hours doing that.

        I procrastinate by looking at pictures on Facebook of friends of friends. It's a bit creepy, but I really enjoy it.

        GlamCake

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      10. Confession: I always love your tweets but am afraid that I will be the flip side of social loserdom (pathetic stalker) if I constantly reply and/or retweet your tweets.

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