Fashion Beauty Friend Friday: Words of wisdom

This week, for Fashion Beauty Friday, we're veering away from the typical five questions and focusing on just one. After Katy of Modly Chic attended the IFB conference, she walked away with many great little pearls of wisdom. That got her thinking that there's is always one piece of advice that sticks with you - whatever that happens to be.

This week, we're sharing the words of wisdom imparted on us that made a difference. We're talking about who gave us those words, what they meant to us, and how they're still relevant. Thought I've received a lot of solid advice over the years, I'm keeping this week's answer focused on blogging.

When I first began my blog nine months ago, I engaged in a lot of compare-and-despair thinking. I wanted to be successful, as successful as those big bloggers we all follow - the ones with thousands of followers, powerful brand relationships and considerable influence on fashion trends. I analyzed these blogs in a desperate quest to uncover the secret of their success. What made them so popular? What were they doing that I wasn't? What made them so special? I spent an embarrassing amount of time and energy thinking about these questions. I compared my blog to others. I considered changing my focus about 1629426 times. I was never going to reach super blogger status. What was I doing? My blog sucked, my writing sucked, my personal style sucked. I sucked.

Then I had a conversation with Erin of Work With What You've Got. I consider Erin a tremendous role model. Her blog is successful and I have enormous respect for her individuality and unique sense of style. One day over Tex-Mex, Erin advised me to stop trying to determine what made the "popular" bloggers successful. What was the point, she asked? I was wasting so much energy attempting to uncover a magical formula that probably didn't exist. Some bloggers were going to be big because of their writing, or their photos, or their quirky sense of style, or the way they styled their hair. But there was really no way of knowing what made someone more popular than someone else.

Instead, Erin advised me to keep doing what I was doing. Yes, I wrote more than most bloggers. I wasn't twenty years old. I wasn't twee about Modcloth and Lulu's, and I didn't have affiliate links. I was being myself, writing about topics that interested me, wearing clothes I liked and thrifting with abandon. Eventually, she said, readers would find me. It was my uniqueness that made me stand out. Doing the whole compare-and-despair thing was ridiculous.

And you know what? She was right. Instead of wasting my energy on analyzing what made so-and-so blogger successful, I did my own thing. I write about body image, and women's issues, and fashion, with an occasional daily outfit post every now and then. I've stopped obsessing about my "numbers." I quit comparing myself to anyone else. And my blog has reached success I never imagined it would.

Being myself on my blog extends into my daily life. As I've gotten older, I've let go of caring what people thought, and dressing as I'm expected to. I honestly don't compare myself to other women. Instead, I keep my attention on being the most "me" I can be. I'm not your typical stay-at-home mom, and I'm damm proud of that fact.

As usual, I’d love to hear your on this topic in the comments! What piece of advice have you received that made an impact on you? (This can be related to blogging or not!)  Fashion Beauty Friend Friday was created by Katy Rose of Modly Chic. Become a member at the Fashion Beauty Friend Friday Google Group to join in the discussion!


  1. Okay so I hate to be long winded here in your comments section, but I had to say something. Today’s post really hit home with me as you’ve touched on exactly what I have been experienced lately. I have been going back and forth with “should I do this, do that, should I change this, change that” with my blog. I realize that I don’t have a lot of focus right now but I’m trying to find my way. And while on this most recent “blog break” I have found that when I don’t blog, something is missing. All in all, it’s good to know that as a new blogger, I’m not the lone ranger with these feelings. Thank you soo much for sharing!!!

  2. I can relate to this so much! I used to do a lot of number crunching and now I just write on what stirs my passion even if it's not about fashion. I just want an outlet to discuss my truth and maybe reach other women in the process.

  3. I. So. Get. This. I am working through these same blogging issues myself, and feel that I lost my voice a bit and need to recapture it. But you hit the nail on the head. Thanks for reminding me!

  4. Great post, Elissa! Your blog is amazing b/c you are true to yourself. You speak your truth. Your post reminded me of a blogger friend who wrote about personal branding today. You might appreciate it:

  5. I think a blog is successful if the writer has a genuine voice, showcases a unique style, and fosters a little community of its own. I believe it can be done with 50 readers, 500 readers, 5000 readers, etc. Yes, there are blogs that are super popular, and good for them! But there are also wonderful, humble blogs with regular women doing what they want to do, not what's cool or "in".

    I learned from TxSCC that you should blog for the right reasons. I blog because it's a creative outlet. I blog because I'm proud of my artwork and personal style. I blog because I'm happy, fame or no fame, fortune or no fortune. I agree with Erin-- stay true to YOU. It is worth your weight in gold.

  6. Love your blog and attitude.
    I agree with 'For Those About to Shop'....I write on whatever stirs my passion. If someone reads it and likes it..great. If not..ok. I am who I am...I write what I write.

  7. Aw this is why you are my blogging hero! I write more than most bloggers because I'm a writer at heart. I don't have a professional photographer to take pretty outfit pics of me every day. I did stress about why bloggers were successful, but like Erin said, there is no magical formula. I just want to be proud of my blog rather than have 1,000 of non-sentimental comments.

  8. I have been feeling a bit low lately as I compare myself to other bloggers and come up short. I cannot write like you do (although I wish I could) and wish I could figure out how I could. Now I find out you have similar feelings about other bloggers. I think I will take your advice and just be me. After all, that IS all I can be.

  9. Such fantastic advice. You can only be the best you. And, Miss Elissa, you are...


I love my readers! Comments are welcomed and appreciated.