Everybody, Everywear: Maxi skirt, multiple breakdown


Life is full of mysteries. From Charlie Sheen's breakdown to Donald Trump's hair to socks that inexplicably vanish on the journey from washing machine to dryer, there are a lot of thing I don't understand. And one of those things has been maxi skirts.

The maxi skirt has always been an all-together confusing article of clothing to me. It seemed too voluminous, too sloppy, and not at all suited for anyone less than five feet ten inches tall with a definable figure. I believed maxi skirts were made for those lithe, coltish, gazelle-like creatures I spy shopping at places like Madewell. While these girls could look gorgeous dressed in Hefty bags, they are particularly adept at executing tricky fashion trends while making the rest of us feel pathetic and elementary. Such as the maxi skirt.

I audibly cringed when learning that maxis were "hot" for spring. While leafing through magazines, it seemed every designer had an emotional orgasm while discussing the trend. A maxi is "feminine", "demure," and "elegant." Some went so far as to declare the maxi "effortlessly chic" and "versatile." I learned that, theoretically, one could pair it with a peasant blouse or feather hair extensions for a '70s look, or top it off with a sleek tee and chunky jacket for a boho-chic direction. On warmer days, I might want to pair it with a slim tank and a belt to define my waist. Each magazine stressed that no matter what style maxi I went for, whether floor-grazing and full to slim and ankle-length, dressing up would be easy - I  could just "pull it on and be good to go!"

Readers, this is not the case. Styling my maxi was a struggle in both patience and fortitude. I was unwilling to spend any more time (and money) than necessary hunting down the perfect skirt for this month's Everybody, Everywear challenge, so I decided to work with one I had thrifted weeks ago. I tried sleek tees, and sleeveless tops; belting, and not belting; layered with long cardigans, and tucked into blousey tops; pairing it with sandals, oxfords, and chunky platforms; accessorized with no jewelry, and embellished with tangles of necklaces and bracelets and OH MY GOD GET THIS THING OFF OF ME I LOOK LIKE SNOOKI AAARRRGGGGHHH. Nothing looked right. I felt myself shrinking, widening, and becoming more and more squat.


By trial and error (and a shot of Makers Mark) I figured things out. My vintage silk top, with it's high neckline and graphic pattern, would lend an interesting contrast to my maxi. Paired with a vintage belt and platform booties, the pieces gave me a long, slim line and added six inches to my height.

And suddenly I got it. The maxi can actually be flattering on a short girl like me. And it only took one mental breakdown and a shot of liquor for me to find out. I'd say I made out pretty well.



Vintage thrifted Neiman Marcus silk blouse; vintage thrifted maxi skirt; vintage thrifted belt; NYLA platform booties; vintage thrifted snakeskin clutch; Forever 21 pyramid bracelet







And here is where I almost fell on my butt. Those booties are high, y'all.



19 comments:

  1. Your writing cracks me up! I love what you did with the unique color combinations here (I would have been a baby and paired it with something neutral to be uber safe). I'm short as well, but I think the thing I like most about maxi's is not having to shave... plus I love spinning around in dresses like a 5 year old :)

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  2. Those colors really suit you. The mixed patterns on the belt and skirt look very chic.

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  3. you're totally rocking the maxi skirt!! i have yet to find one for my petite frame too where it doesn't look like i'm drowning in fabric. you've definitely inspired me to keep on the hunt for my own maxi!

    cute & little

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  4. Love how you've styled this! Well done. I've never worn one... I feel like I'm too bottom heavy.

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  5. I love maxi skirts, but then again I am 5'9", so I never have to bother with being swallowed up by them, lol. This vintage skirt looks great on you, and I adore that green top!!

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  6. I know!!!! I have two maxi skirts that I have worn at total of one time each. Maybe twice. They don't ever seem like something I can "just pull on" because of the proportion balance, the pint, the length, blah blah blah. But you have gone and done it here with this outfit. Maybe I need a shot of whiskey too...

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  7. Wow, this is beautiful!! I love your pattern mixing here, it's brilliant and you look long and tall!! :)

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  8. I was going to say exactly what Sarah said. Same words! lol. I read several blogs but yours is one of my top two favorites because it is such a joy to read. Thanks for the daily entertainment and shot of fashion advice.

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  9. You made out really well! I fancy this look a lot.You look stunning Actually to the point that I might try to recreate it with a yellow silk shirt that is similar to yours. Next time though call me and I can help you with the Makers Mark, ha ha! Your writing in very witty and I had fun reading your post!
    Cheers,
    Bre

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  10. You are such an awesome writer and your style is off-the-charts impressive, so reading your posts is such a pleasure. I love your frankness in regard to trying out the maxi trend, and your play-by-play of the experience had me chuckling out loud. Glad you found something that worked for you- and something that you could work! Loving the contrasting colors and patterns, and I am over the moon for button-back blouses like yours.

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  11. Ha ha! Got to love that action shot at the end. Or almost action shot.

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  12. I think you pulled it off wonderfully! I myself am a little terrified to try the maxi look. It's not that I don't think I have the body for it, its that it simply terrifies me. I guess I am afraid to try new things. But you know what, I think I need to conquer that fear, because it really is a fun look.

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  13. Loving the color combo! Gorgeous!

    Monique xx

    misszuman.blogspot.com

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  14. I love reversed shirts (with buttons in the back)!
    But I would pair different shirt with this skirt, to make your figure longer.

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  15. I honestly think anything would be flattering on you! That green is fantastic. :)

    Come take a look inside A Working Mom's Closet

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  16. nice blog! are we following each other?? I always follow back! i love the feedback! = )


    kisses from La Mode En Rose = )

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  17. that shirt is beautiful! I love the button-up back. Also, paired with that skirt, the different patterns mesh perfectly, it's very vintagey yet modern... I clicked on your blog from Nashville Styled, and I am so glad I did... I'm following now :)

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  18. Love that top...gorgeous!
    ~Toria

    http://bonafidestyle.blogspot.com

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  19. Sorry that it was such an ordeal to put together your outfit. But, you have to know that this turned out brilliantly!
    Thanks for joining us at EBEW!

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