Outfit Post: You can't run away from yourself

I've always gotten my cardio workout as God intended: Through fast-paced walking from store to store; doing bicep curls with shopping bags; and during stair-climbing sessions of those daunting steps in the mall. But last summer, after "celebrating" my 36th (sniff) birthday I decided to take things up a notch. I joined a gym and started a running program.

Initially, I started running for the challenge of it. I'd never participated in team sports, or any sport for that matter. I hate getting all sweaty. I adamantly refuse to wear workout clothes in public. I could never, ever be one of those chipper energy-gel slugging women in matching Nike sports bras and Tempo running shorts (by the way, what the HELL is the mystique with those things? Yesterday at Starbucks I saw high school girls wearing them layered with leggings and Uggs. Layered. With Uggs.) But I digress. I longed to be toned, and strong, and knew running could bring about those results. Even better, running has an additional benefit - it reduces my anxiety and stress. When I run, I have lots of time to think. I can let my mind wander and all the stress of my world fades away.

But occasionally my thoughts turn negative. Sometimes I truly question the existence of that elusive "runner's high," the mythical release of happy jolly endorphins that supposedly warm your body like crack. When I start to feel fatigued, usually around mile 1.5, negative thoughts creep into my head. I realize I'm having some sort of identity crisis. I think, what the hell am I doing here? Do runners think this is fun? I must not be a runner! You know what's fun? Lounging on the couch, watching bad reality TV all night and gorging myself with a gigantic bowl of butter and salt-drenched popcorn. Or sitting at a bar slugging Maker's Mark and laughing with friends until my throat hurts. Now that's fun!

I keep running until I reach mile 2. Runners adore this, I think. They love to persevere and push themselves. Don't get me wrong; I love this feeling too. But sometimes I really feel like I'm going to die. Or suffocate. This is hard. I must not be a runner.

Mile 2.5. My mind continues to wander. I'm hungry. What's for lunch? Uh-oh. I must not be a runner. Runners eat energy bars and protein shakes. I like shakes too, but the chocolate ice cream kind. As a matter of fact, theoretically, I could be in my kitchen making a shake right now. Not that that has EVER happened before. The only drinks I like to mix are the alcoholic variety. But still. I am SO not a runner, I decide.

By the time I finish this little chat I've usually made it to the end of my run. Suddenly I remember why I got on the treadmill in the first place - to feel better about myself and work towards a goal I thought impossible to obtain.

On mornings like today, when I find it hard to even get out of bed in the first place, I am convinced I am not a runner. Runners pop out of bed, wide-eyed and bushy tailed, at 5:30 in the morning. Runners run 6-7 days a week. I run 4. I am not a runner. And today I am especially not a runner because it appears I have done something wicked to my lower back. Seriously, you guys. I'm hurting. Which is most definitely not fun at all.

I decided to throw on something soft and easy this morning. My back was begging for something unstructured and loose. Thankfully, my closet held the perfect pieces.

Forever 21 blazer; Forever 21 blouse; thrifted Paige jeans; Forever 21 oxfords; Forever 21 necklaces; Hype bag (I might be smiling in this pic, but believe me when I say that I'm hurting bad. Hence the bendy hunched-over pose.)





15 comments:

  1. love this one! ~lyn

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  2. Back pain is the WORST! Sorry you are feeling it. Ya look adorable even in pain. ;-) I much prefer to walk than run. I KNOW I am NOT a runner. Take care.

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  3. wow, running 4x a week?!! that's pretty impressive. now that the weather is warmer, i'm stepping up my outdoor running too but so far i'm only at 3x a week. i've gotten so many injuries in the past that i forced myself to slowly work my way up to this point. hopefully your back will feel better soon!

    in the meantime, i love the softer colors of this outfit on you. the pink top is beautiful and that blazer fits you perfectly!

    cute and little
    come join the Color Brigade!

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  4. Omg!!! You look so cute! I love the combination of the pink and grey. Def inspired me :)

    IvonneStacy.blogspot.com

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  5. Ugh. I only WISH I could be a runner. I try occasionally.. I'm just not athletic. But I'm also trying to make myself feel more into it. haha. That really sucks about your back, but you were still able to pull together a wonderful outfit! It looks classy, but girly at the same time. Very pretty. :]

    -Megan Rose
    megan-loves.blogspot.com

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  6. Good for you! I'm also similar in the sense that I never participated in sports in high school. (My fiance finds every opportunity to remind me that I was the dorky yearbook editor.) I sheepishly admit that I still can't run a mile straight, but instead of forcing myself to work out, I have realized that I need to find an exercise routine that works for me. For me, that was finding a fun sport like tennis. I like playing tennis that it doesn't feel like a drag.

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  7. Injuries are not fun, so I hope that you feel better soon! And by the way, you may thing this outfit is simple, but I think it is sophisticated and gorgeous.

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  8. lovely outfit. the blouse is so amazing.

    http://wardrobexperience.blogspot.com

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  9. Impressive! Looks like you are a runner indeed! Just not the kind of one that you think that all the others are. As far as I can tell, that's how most people feel who are Runners or runners. Hope your back feels better. Take care of your mind and body! The world needs you!

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  10. my husband and I are doing p90x together...it's hard. I have always wanted to try running. Several of my friends do and they swear it's a great stress reliever. Cute outfit!

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  11. haha I loved this post. I loved running (before my knees went out on me. yes i'm only 24), but I would never say I was good at it. I hated every second of the actual run, and it was always a struggle. So don't feel bad! Good for you! I do Insanity, which is amazing cardio and better for girls tan p90x.

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  12. i have a love/hate with running. at this point i run because i can. and i love the endorphin high but i had to decipher what the endorphin high actually is for me. plus, i decided that i am a runner and not crazy. crazy are the people who get up at 3am to get a quick 10 in. i have a friend like that. the rest of us are normal.

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  13. Okay...you are officially the PRESIDENT/CEO of The Mutual Admiration Society because you run and I don't. That automatically gives you 51% ownership over my 49%!

    Also, I personally enjoy lounging, watching bad reality tv but with a trunk full of golden oreo cookies!

    BTW, that hair color...cut...I die!

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  14. I love the colors of this outfit - reminds me of the colors I'm using for my wedding this summer :)
    http://www.goodframeofmind.blogspot.com

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  15. haha. I am a runner. but I have NEVER ever popped out of bed, wide-eyed and bushy tailed, at 5:30 in the morning. :-). Never, do you hear me? Never evah! :-)

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